Hey Shannon, thanks for your reply. I have talked with Jason about
this before, with no blaming. I just feel like when I get home and he is not working he should do more than lay on the couch all day, while Jaylynn watches T.V. That drives me nuts. He cuts the grass, that's it. Garbage, dishes, laundry (his mine Jaylynn's), vacuum, and every other thing. I asked him to give her a bath today for example. He did, at 2:00 in the afternoon. She should have had it this morning, to keep her on her schedule. Jason works 12 hr shifts. Example work schedule( this week), Mon. 6-6pm, tues 6-6, off wed. and thursday, works the weekend, he next week off mon tues, works wed thur, off the weekend. He has alot of free time and doesn't do anything at the house. You can tell if Jason is going somewhere for the evening when he becomes in a good mood, he talks. He plays softball 2 x awwek, it's all night event. If his game is at 8, he leaves at 7 and you won't see him for the rest of the night , unless he works the next day , he might come home around 12:00am. He has a garage that needs cleaned , 2 vehicles not running, he should be working on them. But instead he works on sheds for his dad, or helps his brothers. Hello, there's s*** here to be done. He has no motivation and his priorities are not straight. I told him not to long ago, that i am leaving him after school. We are like roomates. I told him that because he came home from the bar one night, and the next morning I went to do laundry and there was make-up on his shirt. I dunno where it came from he said. It was powder or foundation. Earlier this year, on his camera phone he took picturess and videotaped girls dancing, and all you seen was boobs and a**. I confronted him, he said I justcan't get that drunk. Well this is why I refuse to sleep with him. His parents think I am the problem, they don't know the half of it. Remember we split up when Jaylynn was born , because he was with another girl. He doesn't admit it or deny it. I know what he did, and I was pregnant. I just know people will think I used him, and whatever, but I really have told him I was leaving after school. My parents are building a house right now, to retire their. My nan, is too dependent for me to live there, and nothing for Jaylynn to do their. I can't get into a low income apartment, because you have to be working, when the h*** would I fit that in. Shannon, I am just angry . When i ask or talk to Jason, he usually says nothing. i wish my mom was on here to back me up with that, because normally people are like he says nothing. YEP. His mom pressures me to put Jaylynn into dance or something, I don't have time to take her and pick her up. The only reason she wants that is because her other grand-daughteer does it. Jaylynn like outdoor stuff, soccer t-ball.... I was gonna wait till next year until my school load lightened. I feel alone, and sad because I really don't have anyone to talk to. Jason loves his friend, bowling , golf, and softball better than anything. Try explaining to my daughter, when she asks, when is daddy coming home? This is the story of my life,and I just try to be patient. you know when I do go out, people are always asking for my number and wanting to talk to me. I don't know what Jason's problem is, I wish i could send a freakin pic, so you would see that I am not ugly. My mom says men don't cheat because there g/f or wife is ugly, they have the problem. I think this is why I am so insecure about
my weight, cause when we got together I was so pretty and thin. I think he expected me to stay that way. But that is easier said than done. And about
counseling, S*** , he can't even talk about
little things, you think he would
open up to a counselor. I have asked.No response. He jsut says, there's nothing to talk about
, or I don't know>>>>> i hate i don't know. Anyways, I have rambled enough.Thanks for commenting. I know there is nothing anyone can say or do, but me. But right now that really isn't an option. I just cry about
it. Cause I feel like I have failed my daughter, 27 no job, schooling not done yet. And a failed relationship.I just feel like a big loser. when you walk in the door , and you don't even get a hi, how was school. You just feel unwelcome. Thank god, Jaylynn runs when she sees me, saying mommy , mommy, with a great big smile. When i hear peole talk at school and they are younger , i wish I could turn back the time. I was always in a relationship, never time to grow. Again thanks for listening, LONG and BORING......