I have a BP husband indenial and after years of spending time with him I can certainly say few things which might help you if you care and want to get some insights-but i am no doc.
Emotional stability is very important so be careful with what partner you are ,you feel connected and not someone who abuses you or manipulates you as unless you are internally fragile you cannot take abuses.
END all other flings as it cannot heal empty feeling you have .
Self -Image is very important in BP i have seen .
try to work on that ,have a support system where you can rely on without feeling judged or laughed at .
It is sheer hard work as i can understand as I have seen BP upclose and watch it everyday .
I can possibly write a book on this disorder sometimes i feel ,,j/k.
Love ,warmth,compassion,patience,understanding is what you need in partner but if you have someone who is himself having mania is very difficult .You might have to stay away from him for few days as its very TOXIC.
try to change pills and keep in touch with doc.
have a meeting with BF and don't be confrontational ,tell him how you feel but no blaming .
keep posting !!
Hi cilly! (I hope I'm replying properly lol) And thanks for replying it means a lot to me :) it's nice to know that there are others out there that go through some of the same things and that I'm not alone...
You must be really strong to be so supportive of your husband. I believe I read tour post yesterday and took your advice about
asking my BF for a meeting. He mostly just didn't want to deal with it, didn't want to set a date or time or anything, said he wasn't going to allow me to "demand" a meeting from him, and said he couldn't be bothered and was going to a show with some friends. I am rethinking the relationship and believe at this point it might not be the healthiest situation in my current part of my journey lol
I have pretty set moral values, so I never cheated or tried anything like that while together. However when we "break up" for a week, I find myself craving to date in a very self soothing almost spiteful sort of way. Drugs, smoking (when I quit for several months) and impulsive thoughts I struggle with are mostly almost a self punishment sort of feeling, like I messed everything up again so I have to destroy my body because of it.
For clarity, are you saying your husband is Bipolar or Borderline? There are certain things that don't make sense to me about
my BF as during an argument he will accuse me of being angry before I actually am, says I won't own up to something after all we have talked about
is my owning up to things while he doesn't take responsibility for his own behavior, says I'm justifying right after he tells me the way he reacted was all MY fault, etc. I can only imagine it's projection. He seems to be constantly victimized, views himself as constantly under attack and criticism, and has even recorded our phone calls "to use for later". Have you ever experienced any of this? I am at a breaking point, he makes me feel like I am the only one with a communication problem and I have even begun to question myself and if I really am this crazy and just don't notice it...? He has clear moments.. And seems to always come back upset and saying he realizes what he must have done to me, that I'm like no one else he's met, that he never wants to fight again, and then a month later does it again and in his mind I'm the big bad guy again.
I'm no saint, I tend to get frustrated and have QUICK but intense burst d anger, calling and texting repeatedly, I can be manipulative with the way I try to get him to answer the phone, and usually when I calm down can let go be back to my regular self by the next day as long as things don't continue to escalate.
Thanks again for your comfort and advice :) it helped me to acknowledge I might not be I'm the healthiest of situations, as I don't believe either of us might be capable at this point in time to support one another the way we individually need :/ which I hate. But I understand.