Well I also have expereince in this area. My daughter Jaylynn is about
to be 4. I was on zero meds during pregnancy and wasn't even dx yet. I had morning sickness for six months and it was horrible. I also had just been pregnant before her and lost a child ( boy), after six months of carrying, 3 months later I was preganant again. So I wasn't healed from the first. Anyways, I suffered SEVERE post-partum depression. First time I had been treated was after this happened, to find out later I am Bipolar. Hmmm... Anyways, I MOST DEFINATELY KNOW , my child and I lacked no bond due to this.I know there is probably research that says it is so, but heck there's research that says all kinds of garbage about
BP.I know it , because I experienced it. Sure I had really bad days, but then happened i would call my mom so my daughter didn't sense that from me. I often took time to myself , and that gave her dad who worked alot time to have together. My daughter is attached at my leg till this day. It' s frustrating and it's hard. I defo. don't and won't sugar coat this one... being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had and will. It is alot of stress being a mom, college student, housekeeper, chef(lol), and whatever. I know it's difficult for everyone but when you add Bipolar on top of that, whoa... look out. The stresses get me. I never worried about
it before, but now it's constant. It's like I constantly think the world is too much for my innocent , beautiful daughter... constantly worrying about
soemthing bad happening to her and her dad. They are my life , and i just worry , that is a motherly instinct. I can't be super mom, but if you've ever read my posts, you will know I try to be. I have to realize i can't do it all, and not get mad if it's not the way I do it when someone wants to help, accept the help. I have to watch carefully that if i get too high or low, she needs to not see this. It's honestly overwhelming, and that is just one area of my life. Add college, yikes. As most people would tell you I am a perfectionist and a overachiever, it takes all my energy . I really don't have that much anymore.LOL If I could take a portion of Jaylynn's energy, boy I would have it made. Sleep is also important, and you lose alot with kids. Then my days are affected by that, and it's miserable. Okay, all that said, I would change it, becasue she honestly saved me of making some bad choices, and I have a love with her that you receive from no one else, Ellie you agree. It's special, and uncondiotional no matter what. i also want to make clear that ME, I, worry that Jaylynn will be Bipolar and that scares me. i don't want her ever to have to go through this. I chose to have no more children , that played a key factor in my decision making.
You give up alot when you have children and as long as your set in your life to do that, then you will have few problems. I was way selfish before her, i bet you can guess I am no longer. Sacrifices? It's a love I could never imagine, and i am so glad someone sent her me... It's just really a rough time right now. You will be fine as a mom, just be aware. iread alot of books, but it did't help me, but that's me. Also Jaylynn is going through the Freudian developmentalstage, of loving the opposite sex parent right now, so that hurts my feelings, but she should be back to me around 6. I will be patient. LOl No matter, it's all okay!!!!! ................ Best wishes Nickie Sorry so LONG