I have always had difficulty with my emotions. Cycling between way depressed and ok since age 10 ish. At 32 i told my pc doctor who diagnosed me with depression when i first talked to her... citalopram to start... which helped until it didn't and was increased. Actually contacted her after the 8 months of playing with the med and we talked some more about
my cycles. She diagnosed bipolar II... which made sense after i researched it more. She prescribed the lotrimagine. And it felt ok seemed to work, until another low... then would call... coinciding with the cycle and was upped. Last time she wanted me to go from 100mg to five hundred but I felt scared of that dose and worked myself up to 300. I am down down down again... after little bit longer cycle and life events. I feel like I am going crazy. The dreams I have been having are hard to distinguish from reality... especially the last 3 weeks. I cannot believe my memories from last night didnt happen. Blows my mind. I dont feel like the seIf i was. I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe these cycles are my reality? I just feel lost and sad. Have read many posts on forums on many websites and have decided to put this all out there. Maybe I should decrease and get off the med? Maybe I should increase it? The people close to me don't understand how I can't control these feelings. I know how I should and could think but can't at this, and most of the times, although good at faking it till I make it :). Just feeling lost. What an introduction... ha!
Post Edited (naknop) : 3/23/2015 1:31:42 AM (GMT-6)