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TwinkleT0es
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2015
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 11/25/2015 7:37 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello

My name is Kim, I live in a small town just outside of Toronto by two or three hours on a bad day. And if your wondering where in heck that is, yes it's in Canada🇨🇦🌨☃⛄️❄️‼️

In 2007, I gave birth to my only child, a daughter named Anastasia. A few months after that I found I broke my pelvis, herniated L4/L5 discs. I then started crying myself to sleep. Then the nights poured into the daytime and soon enough I was tears most of the day. My original GP (general practitioner) told me it was depression and the baby blues.

Well fast forward to today, I went back to my new GP (we have moved so new doctors) to tell her what my husband told me. Apparently I spike happy and sad a lot. I feel aggregated a lot too. Stupid things really make me upset. I'm so tired a lot. And I snap at my beautiful daughter because she didn't pick up after herself. I feel horrible cause I'm a "mean mother" I have never hurt her but I'm sure I have broken her heart a lot & have let her down.

So with a new diagnoses of bi polar, I guess I'm looking for advice suggestions things that did and didn't working for you all. I have another appointment next week to discuss Med's. As right now I'm just in ciperlex and it's just not working well for me.

Sorry this is longer than I had anticipated.

Thanks for reading, Kim🇨🇦

Post Edited (TwinkleT0es) : 11/25/2015 7:56:18 PM (GMT-7)


UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4428
   Posted 11/27/2015 7:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello Kim,

Welcome to the forum :-)

Don't apologize. I enjoyed reading your introduction. Feel free to post or vent anytime...

Toronto... I've never been to Toronto, but I've visited Canada already. I really like it there. Hoping to experience snow one day. I live in the Caribbean so we don't have snow here.

Besides visiting your GP, did you ever visit a psychiatrist to get a diagnosis. A psychiatrist is usually the best person to diagnose someone with Bipolar. Are you using any meds or are you in therapy presently?

I attended therapy for a while some time ago. It was helpful. I did CBT and DBT. I learned coping strategies I can use on a daily basis. You can check out our resources area for more info on Bipolar.

It sounds like your husband is supportive and by your side? Support is very helpful and reassuring when you have it. Please know that we are here for you.

Welcome and I hope to learn more about you.

Take Care

UA
Moderator - Bipolar

Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder.
Chronic Pain - Cervical Kyphosis, Cervical Spondylosis, Thoracic Scoliosis.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20048
   Posted 11/28/2015 1:07 AM (GMT -7)   
welcome. agree with UA, 3 pronged attack is a necessity with bi-polar, medication, therapy and coping skills / support. we care. I am in Australia. I live bi-polar affective disorder, and et al!!
THE HAPPY TURTLE.

A QUOTE FROM THE HAPPY TURTLE THAT REFLECTS ME.

"COMPLEXITY IS MY WAY OF EXPRESSING MY NEEDS IN A MANNER THAT IS NEITHER DESTRUCTIVE, NOR NEGATIVE"
'

TwinkleT0es
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2015
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 11/29/2015 5:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello,
Well tomorrow I see my GP again, I saw her two weeks ago and she put in a request to see a psychiatrist at that time. Well, you see that's all well and dandy but I live in a very small town of 15k in population. Heck our major store is Walmart hahahahaha! I had suggested her to send the referral to Toronto as I go there every three weeks and I was told she couldn't because in Ontario it goes by where we live.


You had mentioned C/D BT what is that? I have done some reading but never came across those terms. In my reading I always come across the manic and mania states. I keep trying to think how they apply to me.

I am very easily angered and put off. I tend to feel better when I'm alone, I am exhausted a lot. My a Husband tells me. Y moods change in a blink. I do t know if that's cause I'm in pain or what...

I find myself sad a lot too, it's not like I've had an easy life but he'll hats a whole another post, living pay to pay is hard.
----¦???)?+-----¦???)?+---¦???)?+----
L4/L5 herniated disc, spinal stenosis, rheumatoid arthritis, & bipolar ^_^
Med's: butrans patch (omg so itchy) Celebrex, Ciperlax and a basket load of other stuff

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20048
   Posted 11/30/2015 1:47 AM (GMT -7)   
cbt (cognitive behaviour therapy) older style of therapy that is still in use, and dbt, (dialectical behaviour treatment), dbt was devised by m. linehan as the front line therapy for borderline personality disorder, and is now one of the most used therapies within personality type disorders. it is full core, with full core results. been doing dbt since 04. it is definitely not for the faint of hearted. but awesome.
THE HAPPY TURTLE.

A QUOTE FROM THE HAPPY TURTLE THAT REFLECTS ME.

"COMPLEXITY IS MY WAY OF EXPRESSING MY NEEDS IN A MANNER THAT IS NEITHER DESTRUCTIVE, NOR NEGATIVE"
'

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4428
   Posted 11/30/2015 4:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Yep, that's it. Just what HT explained. My therapist and I used DBT for my borderline personality disorder too. It is hard work but it is helpful.

See links where you can learn more about DBT and self-help DBT:
www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/everyday_dbt.html

I hope your app goes well with your GP today. Please let us know how it goes.

UA
Moderator - Bipolar

Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder.
Chronic Pain - Cervical Kyphosis, Cervical Spondylosis, Thoracic Scoliosis.

TwinkleT0es
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2015
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 11/30/2015 8:38 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the info you two and support.

My GP sucks! So she has to put in a referral to a psychiatrist ! Well we knew that would happen, right? But I know it won't be for a while nor will she adjust my Med's.

Tried to talk to hubby about it and just got the cold shoulder. Lovely spent a while crying and feeling like crap. Had to wipe my face clean to pick up a friend. Pulled it all together so I could be sunshine and happy thoughts for my daughter. Happy happy joy joy😱

I just feel like a sack of crap right now. Christmas is just around the and that's not my favorite time of year. When I grew up it was a lot of yelling fight and bullcrap. So I guess that's part of my anxiety.

Anyways Tomrrow I'm off with my daughters class to see Charlie Brown Christmas play with the grade 2 class. Should be fun right? I pray I don't end up in a boat load of pain. I can't walk far but my daughter begged me to. How can I say no?? I can't that's another problem for another day. Anyways coffee in one hand painkillers in another hand. Hahaha

Anyways off to bed. Thanks for listening.
----¦???)?+-----¦???)?+---¦???)?+----
L4/L5 herniated disc, spinal stenosis, rheumatoid arthritis, & bipolar ^_^
Med's: butrans patch (omg so itchy) Celebrex, Ciperlax and a basket load of other stuff

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4428
   Posted 12/1/2015 3:20 PM (GMT -7)   
I think the app with the psychiatrist would be good. They would be able to help you and give you a proper diagnosis.

Sorry about your hubby. Sometimes we just need to let it out at time. After we cry our eyes our, we sometimes feel a bit better.
Christmas is not really my favorite time either. But I do get excited about Santa though.

How are you today? How was the play at your daughters school? It sounds fun. I hope you had a good day.

UA
Moderator - Bipolar

Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder.
Chronic Pain - Cervical Kyphosis, Cervical Spondylosis, Thoracic Scoliosis.

TwinkleT0es
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2015
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 12/1/2015 3:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Today wasn't so bad, man I sure felt I was hurding cattle. Hahaha keeping all those 6 and 7yrs olds in line. Hahah it was cute the play was put on my local children as well. I've been going with on field trips since they were 4 years old. Haha so most of them are use to me. Since I am a stay at home parent I try to go to these types of things. We have only lived here for 5 years this coming Feb. So I like to go an explore and normally everything is free too or super cheap. So that's always a plus. And hey when she's 10 she isn't going to want dear old mom on a field trip. So I try to make memories when we can.

As for crying it out. Yea I guess your right I do feel better not so teary eyed today. Kinda numb a bit. I realized this morning I hastens taken my morning pills. Sigh guess that explains the pain and my brain all bring messed up and more sensitive than normal. I agree with you two a consult is a good idea, but what I worry about is the wait times to see the doc. I've been waiting to see a surgeon for a trigger finger release for 8months and finally the appt is dec 10. Yes I'm a broken body hahaha

I keep wanting to call you two ladies. Or are you gentlemen?

Okay gotta go make pizza dough. Yes I'm a cooker. I love to cook. I make all our meals from scratch and organic if possible. My husband's family has a farm just north of us. So we get all out beef products from them. We grow vegetable gardens in the summer months and then I can and freeze as much as I can. I go insane in the fall months cooking and canning for winter so we have fresh real food.

How are you two?

Talk soon

😍😝❌⭕️
----¦???)?+-----¦???)?+---¦???)?+----
L4/L5 herniated disc, spinal stenosis, rheumatoid arthritis, & bipolar ^_^
Med's: butrans patch (omg so itchy) Celebrex, Ciperlax and a basket load of other stuff

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4428
   Posted 12/4/2015 8:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kim,

Sorry for the delay in responding. This week has been a bit busy for me.
Lol. I'm a girl. But HT is a boy. We're always here for you through good and bad times :-)

Yep, cherish those moments. You're right, she may not want you going on fields trips as soon she'll be a teenager.

8 months? Wow... That's a long wait. Hopefully, he's a really good doctor hence the long waiting period to get an appointment. I hope it goes well.

Any weekend plans? How are you doing these days?
How was making pizza? I use to like baking, but when depression took over I lost that liking.

UA
Moderator - Bipolar

Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder.
Chronic Pain - Cervical Kyphosis, Cervical Spondylosis, Thoracic Scoliosis.

TwinkleT0es
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2015
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 12/10/2015 7:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey ya happy🐢 & UA,
I know it's been a while sigh, been trying or working feeling & healing. Honestly, no it's not waking still feeling full of anxiety & super stressed out. No it's not holidays or anything like that.

Things have been so busy, got new windows installed today, got a phone call this week about a psych consult. The only time that worked for means them is Jan 8. So that's total positive. Today saw the finger dr and he was going to fix it but it was working fine. 😡 And he told me he wouldn't touch it unless he saw it faked up. So needless to say after spending two hours waiting I was less than pleased. But he did say to call his office and he would get me right in. So that seems positive, I swear next time I'm gonna tape that ding finger up so it doesn't release.

Husband sucks, he comes up and 😤😡 upset at work dumps on me about it like I'm his boss and ughhhhhhhh. And when I say something it's like my fault. ***. Sigh man Jamie, why does your sex do this. Laughing out loud!!

Daughter was offered a spot on a beginner swim team through our local YMCA th That that was pretty cool, they practice three times a week. Ouch! Saturday will be equestrian, I think this 2016 is going to way busier than I had originally anticipated.

UA, I go I spits and spurts all the time with stuff, I have a half assed Xmas project on the go..and I may not bake stuff for mo this either.


How are yout both doing?
----¦???)?+-----¦???)?+---¦???)?+----
L4/L5 herniated disc, spinal stenosis, rheumatoid arthritis, & bipolar ^_^
Med's: butrans patch (omg so itchy) Celebrex, Ciperlax and a basket load of other stuff

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4428
   Posted 12/11/2015 6:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kim,

Sounds like you've already got to plan for 2016. Congrats to your daughter on the YMCA offer. It sounds exciting! I'm sure she will enjoy it.

Sorry about your doctor's appointment and the finger. Sometimes that happens. You have soo much pain before you app, but when you arrive at the doc, the problem disappears.

Be sure to use your coping techniques when you feel overwhelmed. Remember to breathe. Take it one day at a time. I hope your hubby will come around. It's easier to take out your stress on others. It hurts them but people do it without thinking. I hope things will get better at work for him.

I hope you have a good weekend. Is it snowing by you as yet? No plans for me this weekend. Probably just complete stuff for work and watch TV.

UA
Moderator - Bipolar

Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder.
Chronic Pain - Cervical Kyphosis, Cervical Spondylosis, Thoracic Scoliosis.

TwinkleT0es
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2015
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 12/11/2015 7:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey UA,

🌨Snow❄️☃ you must have the wrong country! Bawhahaah when I left for the pain doc it was 45F sunny and notice, when in,eat to get kiddo from school it was 50F‼️ Yea so not like Ontario, ok ok so I moved to what they call Southern Ontario, still the same province but just right on Lake Ontario. They claim we have milder winter, Bollacks to that I say! Last year I we had bitter cold, tons of snow and I froze my ass off to the point I bought a parka this year. And it's sitting the in closet. I can not even remember a Christmas without snow. Sigh it's so wrong. Hell I wore my flip flops all day today. Sigh so wrong. But hey my toes had a mani pedi.

Hubby finally came around tonight, I had a massive snot fest and I'm still stuffed up a lot. Told him everything that I've been whining to you about too. I guess I feel better but still very sad and tearful. But now it's out there.

Weekend well, tomorrow is family and farm day. We go see his mom and brothers and dad at their family farm. Husband has to warm water to horse washbasin, his mom will more than likely looking after my 2yr old nephew as he's always a dump and run by his little brother. That's a whole another story.

Sunday I really need to finish my Christmas art for the gifts for the family. I stole some old wood from the barn, got my father in law to cut it for me, I stained it and vanished it. Now I have to strap them together and write the verse on them, the. String a mock clothes line on them for photos. Long story short I saw it at a local craft store for like $60 thought it was too much as I needed like 6 of them for the family and decided to make it. I'm still stuck on a verse though. It has to be about family and how we are different but there for eachtoher. Thus the barn board, some of it has holes and knots and to me it made me think of passed loved ones, and growing families.

Ok hubby says I am typing like a mad women and I've talked way to much.


😊🐢 Jamie, are you feeling any better dear?

Talk soon xo

K
**************************************************
L4/L5 herniated disc, spinal stenosis, rheumatoid arthritis, & bipolar ^_^
Med's: butrans patch (omg so itchy) Celebrex, Ciperlax and a basket load of other stuff

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4428
   Posted Today 12:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Ohhh, so you don't have snow in your town? I just assumed it snow throughout Canada.

I'm glad your hubby came around and things are okay now.

Your gift ideas are lovely. I like. Hope you had fun making them. I did most of my shopping online this year. Still have to get 1 or 2 gift.

How was the farm and family day?

UA
Moderator - Bipolar

Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder.
Chronic Pain - Cervical Kyphosis, Cervical Spondylosis, Thoracic Scoliosis.
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