I feel so lost. me and my wife have been together for 10 years. Suddenly wants out.

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New Member

Date Joined Dec 2015
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 12/14/2015 1:42 AM (GMT -7)   
I've been married with my wife for 4 years but together with her for 10. A few weeks ago she was telling me she was feeling more depressed and called her psychiatrist to possibly up her dosage. She wanted to wait and see. I noticed she was more depressed than i had seen her in some time but i figured that was expected with the loss of her job coming on. She had found out a month or two ago about this so i thought it must be related. A week ago i noticed something odd. Something i've never really seen from her, it was such a powerful level of happy out of nowhere. She was dancing and singing and just amped up. I took concern for her at this point because she works out 3 times a week but once this all started she pretty much stopped eating. I was confused. She had limitless energy and no hunger, she also stopped drinking dunking donuts which were basically her only way to have the energy to get out of the door. She stopped sleeping as much, wasn't tired or couldn't stay sleeping. I was that nagging voice telling her she has to eat, also trying to be weary saying maybe this is a bipolar episode, I've never seen her on one all these years. She would just lash out at me telling me im just trying to ruin her happiness and just want to keep her sad. Thats the last thing i would ever want. We got into a big fight because she said she wouldn't allow me to manipulate her anymore and that's all i do. i was devastated. I needed time so i angry left. Later that night i found out she kissed my best friend. This is something she would never do. I fear it would of gone farther if he hadn't pulled away. I talked to her soon after that. She told me she doesn't love me and hasn't in awhile. She still loves me as her best friend but not as a husband. We have no perfect marriage that's for sure but this was out of nowhere for me. She needed me to leave to give her time to think and i did. No shes more certain that she must divorce me. I asked if we could try, offering to do just about anything and she says no, i even said we should try marriage consoling but she was completely closed off to the idea, she just wants me instantly gone after 10 years. Does this sound like a bipolar episode or am i just grasping straws at a love i lost along time ago? If this is bipolar will she ever be the same or is this her reality now? I'm so lost, any words would help.

Post Edited (Devastated85) : 12/14/2015 2:12:53 AM (GMT-7)

Forum Moderator

Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4450
   Posted 12/17/2015 6:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello, Devastated85,

Welcome to the forum!

I am sorry for what your are currently going through. Did you wife ever get a diagnosis for Bipolar from her psychiatrist? Marriage counselling is a good idea, but you said she does not want this. When she's in a calm mood, maybe bring it up again and see if she is willing.

Give her some space, but let her know that you are there for her. Maybe she will come around. I would suggest counseling for you. It helps. Living with someone who is Bipolar can affect you as well.
Please feel free to check our resources area where you can get information on Bipolar and coping techniques for partners.

I hope things would work out for you both. We are here for you.

Moderator - Bipolar

Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder.
Chronic Pain - Cervical Kyphosis, Cervical Spondylosis, Thoracic Scoliosis.

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20083
   Posted 12/17/2015 10:14 PM (GMT -7)   
time. yes. bi-polar disorder is just as confusing to the individual. the mania is a rush, the crash is brutal, and sadly if you are in the firing line..........you know. your partner must choose help. unless this happens, best to give space. remember this is the disorder, if it is bi-polar, of which it sounds then medication and therapy are a must. it can be managed. it is a chemical imbalance. many healing thoughts.


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