I am having such a hard time right now and I can't afford therapy so I thought I would try this.
I suffer from bipolar and depression and it's especially bad during the winter. Last year was a tough year. I lost my job last January, was unemployed for 6 months then settled for a temp job which I am still at now. My boyfriend lost his job in December and I think we are both really on edge and our relationship is in trouble because of it.
I'm so irritatable all the time and everything he does annoys me. I wake up every morning with the feeling like someone is sitting on my chest and I'm having panic attacks because I think I'm falling out of love with him. We don't have much in common and I find myself thinking, "I wish he was smarter and funnier. I am hoping it is just the winter that is causing this, because I have always broken up with boyfriends in the winter. We have been dating for 2 and a half years and living together for 1 year. We live with one of his friends so we want to get our own place really badly but we can't afford it. I pay $550 a month in student loan and I recently signed up for "affordable" health care and have to pay $200 a month for horrible insurance. It covers all of my meds though. My mom also sold my childhood home last year and had to give my family dog away to one of her coworkers. I just found out this past weekend that he might have to be put down because he is biting. His new owners really love him but his biting is getting really bad, I couldn't handle the news and I screamed at my mom saying that it was her fault for giving him up. I love animals so much and I get really sensitive about
it so it was so hard to hear. They are waiting 10 days to decide whether or not to do it. I don't handle stress well and I just feel done with everything.
I have such an emptiness inside and I just want to stay in bed all day
and watch tv. I am constantly eating and have gained almost 10 pounds. He's getting exhausted from dealing with me. I am exhausted too and I wish he would understand my condition a little more. He tries really hard to be there for me, but it just isn't helping.
Sorry if this is kinda confusing, I just needed to get it out.
We do have great communication skills and we have talked about
our problems. It's trying to fix them that's the problem.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I really appreciate it.
Post Edited (Pennyln) : 1/25/2016 9:04:17 AM (GMT-7)