Posted 6/10/2016 12:59 PM (GMT -6)
The plot thickens.
This started out as a discussion of if someone is depressed, can they be manic-depressed. Yeah.
Now, we go into, if someone is manic-depressed, can they also be borderline personality syndrome?
I'm about to blow a fuse here in a minute.
My mind has never once thought of that, thought that it was possible, that's why I asked you if you had experience with either one, or both. Cause I didn't know if I was talking to a borderline, or to a manic-depressive, like I am.
" In a way have had many years of experience with manic depression, bi polar and BPD."
I can't comprehend that.
I thought manic-depression was inherited, and borderline was a result of, largely, trauma in childhood, usually sexual abuse, so it mostly affected females.
My wife was borderline, she was sexually abused by 3 teenage guys at the age of 5.
As a result of that, she basically never talked (up to age 25), a trait of borderline that you might not see listed today, cause they've changed the definition in the last some 10 years to be politically correct, in my view.
Are you both manic-depressed and borderline? Did you have trauma in childhood? Were you sexually abused?
My older brother and sister were borderline, and they were sexually abused by our mother, who was sexually abused by her father.
I was sexually abused by the same mother, who dis-roped once in front of me, and may have done other things earlier that I don't remember.
The only females I get along with today, I am now a senior citizen, are those who have been sexually-abused.
I got along with my borderline mother because she had been sexually abused, and I had, too, by her;
I got along with my older, borderline, sister because she had been sexually abused, by the same lesbian mother;
I married a sexually abused, borderline woman; I am now for the past year in phone contact with a local sexually abused, borderline woman.
(It may be because our emotional ages are about the same, mine a little older, with their emotional ages at about 7, we'll say (when the abuse or trauma occurred), and mine at about 10, when I was sexually abused, we'll say. So I feel like the big man, around them, and like a shrimp around emotionally mature women.)
That last woman, above, conned me out of some money 2 years ago, and a year later I called her back. Why, because she was sexually abused and I get along with her.
After we got over that hurdle of me being conned, we now get along OK, because I just try to help her out voluntarily when I can, so she doesn't have to con me.
To get the conned money the first time, she first baited and flirted with me, making me think it was true love, and a week later she hit me up for some money, which I coughed up because I thought it was true love, and it turned out it wasn't love, it wasn't even friendship, she just wanted the money, and drop the so-called friendship or love.
I called her back after 6 months, and she twice referred to something sexual, which I now knew was bad news for me, so I made no response to either one. She realized that didn't work any more, so now we've reached friend stage, which is great.
She told me, when we resumed our friendship the first time for a month or two, she was planning on committing suicide, and had prepared everything.
Well, I didn't even know whether to believe her, I had already been conned out of money by her once. Was this another con job? I couldn't tell. I didn't have anything to do with her for 8-10 more months. I called her back, and we've been doing OK for the last 6 months, all on the phone.
She once told me, "I could never commit suicide."
In a later phone call, I told her, "You have 2 sides to your divided ego, which was caused by the trauma in childhood, with you on one side, and the trauma on the other.
"You have opposing views of the same subject; one you said you were planning suicide for weeks or more, and later you said you could never even think of it."
So she's working her way through some things. A month ago, she kicked out her boyfriend, who was bringing her down to the point of attempted suicide. She needed his money, but he was bringing her down.
I help her with her bills with her boyfriend gone, give her encouragement instead of bringing her down like her boyfriend did, and she's doing very well. She owns her own housing.
She now keeps a couple of children, which is the love of her life and brings her out as a person.
She gets up at 3 a.m. for an early client, and kept the last child till 8 p.m. for a couple of weeks. She fell on the floor from exhaustion after about 2 weeks, she loves it so much.
You know, she's the younger sister I never had, and I'm the father she never had. It works great.
You said, "My son has been diagnosed with all of the above alcohol induced to extreme relapses as self medicating .
He is an adult now as a child diagnosed with BPD.
He has had Alcohol Use Disorder for 23 years."
How did he get to be Borderline? Was there trauma?
Above in an earlier post, I gave the WebMD.com version of manic-depression. Below is WebMD.com version of Borderline:
What is borderline personality disorder?
Borderline personality disorder is a mental illness that causes intense mood swings, impulsive behaviors, and severe problems with self-worth. It can lead to troubled relationships in every area of a person's life.
Most of the time, signs of the disorder first appear in childhood. But problems often don't start until early adulthood. Treatment can be hard, and getting better can take years. Problems with emotions and behaviors are hard to improve. But with treatment, most people with severe symptoms do get better over time.
What causes this disorder?
Experts don't know exactly what causes borderline personality disorder. Problems with chemicals in the brain that help control moods may play a role. It also seems to run in families.
Often, people who get it faced some kind of childhood trauma such as abuse, neglect, or the death of a parent. The risk is higher when people who had childhood trauma also have problems coping with anxiety or stress.
What are the symptoms?
Everyone has problems with emotions or behaviors sometimes. But if you have borderline personality disorder, the problems are severe, repeat over a long time, and disrupt your life. The most common symptoms include:
• Intense emotions and mood swings.
• Harmful, impulsive behaviors. These may include things like substance abuse, binge eating, out-of-control spending, risky sexual behavior, and reckless driving.
• Relationship problems. You may see others as either "good" or "bad" and may shift from one view to the other suddenly, for minor reasons. This can make relationships very difficult.
• Low self-worth.
• A frantic fear of being left alone (abandoned). This fear may lead to frantic attempts to hold on to those around you. Or it may cause you to reject others before they can reject you.
• Aggressive behavior.
Other symptoms may include:
• Feeling empty inside.
• Problems with anger, such as violent temper tantrums.
• Hurting yourself, such as cutting or burning yourself.
• Suicide attempts and suicidal thoughts.
• Times when you feel paranoid or lose a sense of reality (psychosis).
It's easy to confuse this disorder with other mental illnesses. And they may overlap. So if you think that you or someone you know may have borderline personality disorder, see a doctor. Don't try to diagnose yourself.
How is it treated?
Borderline personality disorder can be hard to treat. It's common for symptoms to return. And many people with the disorder have troubled relationships with their counselors and doctors.
But you can take steps to help control the disorder. Long-term treatment can reduce symptoms and harmful behaviors and help you better manage your emotions. Treatment may include:
• Counseling and therapy. It's important to find a counselor you can build a stable relationship with. This can be hard, because your condition may cause you to see your counselor as caring one minute and cruel the next, especially when he or she asks you to try to change a behavior. Try to find a counselor who has special training in dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) to treat this disorder.
• Medicines, such as antidepressants, mood stabilizers, and antipsychotics. In combination with counseling or therapy, they may be helpful in treating symptoms of borderline personality disorder.
• Healthy habits , such as getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, getting regular exercise, and avoiding alcohol and drugs. These habits can help reduce stress and anxiety. And they can help make your symptoms less severe and less frequent.
Many people find relief from harmful symptoms within the first year of treatment.1 And about half of those treated find that they no longer have most of the behaviors after about 10 years of treatment.1
Unfortunately, many people don't seek treatment for mental health problems. They may think that their symptoms aren't bad enough or that they can work things out on their own. But getting treatment is key to improving your symptoms and the quality of your life.
People with this disorder often have other mental health problems such as depression, eating disorders, or substance abuse.
Treatment can help with these problems too.
How can family and friends help? What can they do to cope?
Accepting that a loved one has a personality disorder can be hard. You may feel helpless. But there are things you can do to help.
Show love, and learn as much as you can about the illness.
Understand that the behavior you may see-which may include anger directed at you-is caused by the illness, not by the person you love.
Know when to get help. This disorder can cause a person to become angry, violent, or suicidal. Take these situations seriously. Call for help if you think the person may be in danger or may harm someone else.
Finding your own support is important too. Ask your local or state health department about local support organizations, or contact the
National Alliance on Mental Illness. For more information, go to www.nami.org.
WebMD Medical Reference from Healthwise
Last Updated: November 14, 2014