Husband just diagnosed - need help

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New Member

Date Joined Apr 2016
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 4/7/2016 2:09 AM (GMT -7)   
My husband is VERY recently diagnosed as Bipolar 1 - and I need some advice. Of course we are just now beginning to try new medications though previously he has tried Lamictal and Depakote. He is trying Abilify now, but I digress.

He is mean and angry all the time. He yells at me constantly, and our three young children. It seems like we can't do anything around him without it igniting his temper. He doesn't hit any of us, and the kids love him to death, but I am unhappy.

He has had substance abuse issues for years - mostly alcohol and pills (Oxycodone). If he smokes marijuana he can't just do it a little, he overindulges and will spend hundreds of dollars a month on it. His substance abuse and temper has been a major source of contention in our marriage and I find myself pulling away because I am tired of being yelled at.

So today, he went to go pick up our kids from daycare. 2 days on Abilify as well as 5mg Valium twice a day. Well, he apparently got the bright idea to have "one drink" after work...I don't think it was only one as I could smell it on him.

He strapped all three kids into their car seats and started backing up. Well, he apparently only THOUGHT all three were in the car and he backed over our 19 month old toddler. She is okay, thank goodness - but the outcome could have been MUCH WORSE.

I am at a loss now. I mean, he has taken steps to try and get the help that he needs and is beginning that process...but he could have killed our daughter. Do I keep waiting to see if the medication will take hold and help him? Before I would have said without a shadow of a doubt that he was no risk to the kids but he apparently is.

Any advice? Can I save my marriage AND keep my children safe? How can I help him to become more stable?

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Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4428
   Posted 4/7/2016 7:50 AM (GMT -7)   

Welcome to the forum!

Is your hubby is attending any counselling or therapy? He needs to get his substance abuse problem under control. I am glad your baby is okay. What was your hubby's reaction when he realized he backed over his baby? You are right. The outcome could of been worst. What about the next time? I'm sure you would not want a repeat of this. If he is not aware of what he is doing, it is best that he stays away from both the kids and you just to ensure they are safe. When someone is under the influence, they may not know what they are doing, etc. I wouldn't want anything to happen to your or any of the children.

Please ensure he seeks some sort of counselling. He can join a support groups. I know there are AA's all over.

Please take care of yourself as well. I know this can be stressful. We are here for you.

Moderator - Bipolar

Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder.
Chronic Pain - Cervical Kyphosis, Cervical Spondylosis, Thoracic Scoliosis.

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20048
   Posted 4/9/2016 4:42 AM (GMT -7)   
detox. this is why people on the roads and those around them end up dead. this is not because of bi-polar per se, sounding more like a slow drug induced psychosis that has reared from drug abuse that has incurred a bi-polar situation in his mind. am I wrong? many healing thoughts.


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