Okay, so i havent posted in a while - but here i go again.
Im really getting very very confused. I have never been this bad before - even in the fall. I always get depressed, adn i always cycle (usually winthin about a 1 month period) - but im just seeming to get worse and worse this year - not comming out of it or even remotely stabilizing as i do most years. Sometimes i think its just me - im dwelling on it, or im just sick, or its just a bad day, or soemthing...i dont know.
Anyway, this last week has been bad. I seem to go through a cycle daily where i wake up moody, go to work, but by early afternoon i am seriously hypo-manic or manic (somewhere in there), cant sit in one place, want to conquer the world - and by early evening i am crushed in my little walnut shell, wanting to cry and yet unable to. All my enerygy is dashed, and i just lay on the couch and turn into a zombie. I feel completely unproductive, anxious, and hateful. What is this?
I just dont understand, i cant possibly be cycling that fast...and I just dont know, maybe its just my thoughts - maybe im the one causing it.
Anyway, i just wanted to see if any of you had had this or heard of it. Im so confused, and one thing that i rely on heavily in this swirl of a mind game is understanding - and i need to understand what it is that my brain is doing, or that i am doing. Any answers you can offer?