Full of resentment--anyone???

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Sassie and Sad
Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 40
   Posted 11/19/2005 10:20 AM (GMT -7)   
It has been a while and I am adjusting well to my meds so far.  I just have a question for anyone and everyone---I have changed meds, put myself on a schedule and the big on--stopped drinking.
This has been harder for me than I thought--I don't know if I am an alcoholic or not,,,,,but my husband thinks I am......I know that in the past the reasons I have drank have been to escape or just b/c I love to get crazy....but does loving to get crazy mean you are an alcoholic??
Yes, I feel more stable than I have in a long time but I am SO MAD at the same time....I feel like I have always been this ball of fire and little by little everyone has taken away my flames and made me boring and predictable.  I know my husband cares about me and doesn't want me out drinking and partying b/c it is not good for me and the dangers of drinking and driving.....I know he is right and maybe I do drink a lot when I drink but a lot of people do that---especially during football season.....I didn't go down to Auburn for the Auburn/Alabama game today b/c I knew I would drink and I don't need to...but it makes me so mad---I want to be able to go out and party if I want to....I know logically this is not good for me but I feel like I am being controlled and trapped by this whole bp crap!!!   Has anyone dealt with these feelings?  I don't want to take it out on my husband but to be honest and I am.......I just don't know what to do with these feelings...

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 114
   Posted 11/19/2005 4:55 PM (GMT -7)   

Dear Sassie and Sad:

To an extent, I do understand what you are feeling. First,does "loving to get crazy mean you are an alcoholic?" When I was in my teens , I loved to get drunk to get crazy. I loved losing control, and I did. Now I go out and remain in control, but still have a lot of fun. I think that loving that crazy feeling is the manic side of BP, and can be destructive. No one can say if you are an alcoholic from the info you have given, but it does sound as though (like you said) you  use alcohol to escape, which is a problem. Your husband is right, booze is one of BP's worst enemies. THAT SAID, I do understand the anger and frustration you are feeling. Many of my friends drink, and it ticks me off that I can't. I don't even want to get loaded, I just want a couple drinks. I have told my friends that I can't drink, and my good friends have supported me and left me alone (there's nothing worse than the person who harasses you constantly to drink!). You are going to feel angry, and that is ok. I find that when I think about how bad i crashed after drinking helps me avoid booze. You need to make a new lifestyle that is alcohol free, which is tricky at first b/c it may change your social activities/social circles-or not.

At any rate, I hope it helps to know that I get it (or most of it anyhow). If you are worried about the "definition" of alcoholic, I would mention it to your pdoc or do some AADAC research on the net, and talk to hubby-he may know you better than you do! :) I know that a few of the people here have also struggled with alcohol, it will be interesting to see what they have to say.

Hang in there Sassie and Sad!



Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 59
   Posted 12/3/2005 11:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Gee well you sure can't drink and be on any psych meds or most other medications.

Drinking is not only bad for you, it's bad for your whole family and friends that have to suffer and worry and put up with the drunken side of things or the anxiety/anger that may tend to get worse from drinking.
It's awful for those that drive and drink as well and that makes a person dangerous to be around. Anyone that is known to be a danger to themselves or others may be at risk for being committed, if turned in by the police or doctors.

If you are having trouble or cravings for alcohol, just ask a specialist for help or tell the psych dr or therapist as there are plenty of resources.
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