You said, in your first post:
"I have been dating my boyfriend for about
8 months. He is bipolar but takes meds and is in therapy."
We can't go forward 8 months right now, but we can go backwards.
What was he like during the 8 months that you were dating him and things were going reasonably well?
You have provided some of that, some of the time you said you had to walk on egg shells around him, for his temper might could be set off. I've had that said about
me, as a m-d, and didn't really realize that about
I was not on Lithium when that was said about
me. When I took my first Lithium tablet, I felt the air had been taken out of an overly tight balloon. I didn't know I had been that tense that long. I wished I had been diagnosed as m-d 15-20 years sooner.
So, if he's been diagnosed right and medicated right, that's very good.
You said he would have "severe mood swings at times."
You see, right there, that's very interesting. How bad did he get? Does it tie in with what's going on with him right now? How bad is bad? What would happen during his "severe mood swings"?
Is this one of his bad mood swings?
You said, "Overall, though, he was sweet, caring and affectionate."
What would it be like when he was sweet, caring and affictionate?"
What was that, breakfast in bed, watching a good movie on the couch with the hot, buttered popcorn? Help me out here, I might can learn some things.
You said, "He talked to me several times daily and told me he loved me."
So that was some of his "sweet and caring." Affectionate won't fit into this format. So you got in there pretty deep.
OK, my friend, since you've referred to yourself as a fool, here's my tale of whoa.
My friend would give me, over the phone, Some "I love you's" and then the huggy boo for five seconds, OK, three seconds, over at my place.
OK, cloud nine here. Next day, I took my deceased by 6 years wife's cloths out of her closet and put them on the bed to be given away, for the three seconds of "contact" the night before had emotionally removed her from my mind. It was the physical contact that did that.
I believed everything that woman did and said. Within a week, she wanted to borrow a sum of money to fix a linking roof on her trailer, and everything would be ruined, I think she said. I was so engulfed emotionally, I wrote her a check for that and mailed it to her.
I noticed over next couple of days no phone call from her. I called on the third day to see if she got the check. Called her next 4 or 5 days, no answer on her phone. At some point, it kicks in, I've been ripped off by my "sweet."
My new love. Right. I never did get her on the phone or my money back.
A year goes by. Have you ever been lonely? OK, I called her. I called the con artist who had ripped me off. So, you think you're a fool. Well, I'm a complete idiot.
Well, since then, now 8 months ago, we've been talking on the phone, yeah, and she's been bilking me for everything she can. I know, it doesn't make any sense.
Again, she's like my little sister and I'm like a father figure to her.
So, that's the only way I can relate to what you're going through.
Now to the more recent, you said:
"Just looked at his Facebook page. He is all happy go lucky. He used me, broke my heart and could care less.😢"
I think the key might be, "He is all happy go lucky."
That could be mania. Did the Lithium or other med seem to hold him during those 8 months?
I'm wondering if this happy will last for an extended time. It could come crashing down. Is there a woman in the Facebook situation? Why is he so happy? He's got a new life or what?
I know this hurts. I know. I know. I know.
"I have never had anyone make me feel so unimportant."
Yikes. Well, this guy has to be a little bit cruel. Had he ever demonstrated "cruel" before during those 8 months, to you or anyone else?
Yu said, "I just don't know how I will ever get over this. What did I do to deserve this?"
Yikes, yikes. You're in deep. Gosh, how are we going to get over this? I'm a very sorry.
You didn't do anything to s deserve this. We going to put it all on him.
You say, "By the way, he is 34, divorced a year."
34, what mid life crisis? Also what was his first marriage like. Why was the divorce? Do you know anyone who knows him? He could have been hard to live with during that marriage.
You say, "By the way, he is 34, divorced a year. He was married for 5 years but with his wife a total of 10. He has a 4yo son."
He has a 4 year old son. Here's something right here.
What was his attitude toward his son? Was he regretful that this breakup caused problems for his son? That's killer, for a child. If he has no concern for that child, where do you think you get off expecting anything different from this slob, I mean, from this guy?
See there, not worried about
the kid, not worried about
you. Are we beginning to get through? Do we see Mr. Wonderful for what he is? Not calling you, not worrying about
his kid, gosh, wonder what that means. I think that means he's a jerk.
What did he say to you was the reason for the divorce?
Do you have any children? Long divorce process, so that makes things double tough. You're doing really well for all you're under.
If we can get you through these next few days some hope.
You say, "I feel like an old fool!!" Well, I do, too. Even as a senior citizen, people still have that desire for those emotions, and that's all we were trying to do. There is nothing wrong with that.
Our heart was in the right place. When someone tells us they love us, we still fall for that. There is nothing wrong with that. That is human.
You said, "I am very lost and hurt." That is human also. You are the same strong person you were before you met this guy, and I am the same person I was before this woman ripped me off. She had had a very rough life.
Your guy may have a history of being cold, so I would look into that, as far remembering his feelings toward you, his first wife and his son. How did he speak of his first wife?
You said: "I am 44. Maybe that gives you some more insight. I am very lost and hurt. I feel like an old fool!!"
Sweet, sweet, sweet. Sensitive, sensitive, sensitive. Good, good, good.
Post Edited (Tim Tam) : 10/24/2016 1:58:03 PM (GMT-6)