Posted 2/9/2017 10:15 AM (GMT -6)
I have not read the "about Us" part of HealingWell so I do appreciate your letting me know about that.
I've just now copied it below.
You say, "Tim Tam: I e-mailed you about this already. You may not see it, but your posts are harsh and not supportive. People come here for our support. If you read a post and you cannot be supportive, I would suggest that you do not respond."
OK, here below also is part of my reply to "LearningAsIGo"
"You don't mention children, so hip-hip horray! You're one of the lucky ones. He gets out of his matrimonial duties, you get to get the heck out of the house and the marriage. What could be better than that."
In some ways, I realize that is very over the top. In other ways, that is simply the way I react. I over react. There is also a lot of anger in my self and in my responses. I find myself angry at the person who I feel is mistreating the person who wrote in.
Or, I find myself angry at the person who wrote in who I feel is not doing the right thing. Either way there is anger.
That is difficult to take out of me. In this case of "LearningAsIGo", she said her husband immediately abandoned her and ran to aid and live with his ill mother.
Well, who do you pull for here? The wife who was abandoned or the husband who left the wife to live with his sick mother? I've taken the side of the wife. Others can say, I think hubby is right to leave the wife and live with his sick mother. I've got no problem with someone taking his side.
So, if someone then says, you can't take the side of the wife, then I can't figure out what we're supposed to be doing here. I feel in some ways I'm simply standing up for the one who is being wronged.
Yeah, I do that with vigor. I take great joy in taking up for the person who I feel is being wronged. And while the "about Us" says we should support those who write in, I feel that is support.
If I'm being wronged, I want someone who encourages me to defend myself, to see about the possibility of getting out of situations that are offensive, which still leaves the door open for staying in situations which are offensive. It's up to them.
In a way, I am simply mirroring what, in this case, "LearningAsIGo", is saying. She said about living at her husband's mother's house:
"I don't think it's a good idea to live there with the way she treats me. We would not have our own space. We are a younger couple and have not had kids yet. I am worried that we wouldn't be able to have a family living there because it wouldn't be safe or healthy for them."
So, she's saying, it wouldn't be safe for any children they might decide to have to live at her husband's mother's.
Whoa! Looking after the kids, that's me. See, I'm thinking of any kids they may have one day. She says, it wouldn't be "safe or healthy."
So, I'm supporting these possible future kids. What's wrong with that? I'm agreeing with the woman who wrote in, and also agreeing with her about any future kids.
(See, the future health and safety of any future children is not a long term illness, as talked about in the "about Us at Healing Well" (below). Abuse is a separate category not mentioned in "about Us."
I don't know what more I can do. I don't know what more I would want to do. Stand up for adults who are not associated with this problem in any way? Is that what we're recommending here?
I do believe that. As I said in my email to UA, I don't see how I can change. Wishing them all a good day? Tell somebody who cares? What am I supposed to do?"
I do see the side of whomever. I'm just a loose cannon on the ship of state. I do understand that. My dad was like I am, and he got in a lot of trouble by not being a team player. I think is what they say.
I've gotten in a lot of trouble in the same way, it's just our different way of acting and thinking. It's not necessarily better, it just different.
It usually doesn't fit in, and aren't we glad?
(Some of these people are not writing in about long term illnesses [below].They're writing in about being abused, or in dire need of help for depression, etc. --Tim Tam)
Healing Well: about Us
HealingWell.com is about living mindfully and healing well with chronic illness. It is a community where people come together, reach out, find support and understanding, and share what works for them with others. HealingWell.com features a thriving support community, blog, videos, newsletter, articles and resources to help you actively manage the challenges of living with chronic illness. The goal is simple....to help you take control of your illness and start "healing well".
HealingWell.com was launched in 1996. Today it has more than 150,000+ community members, 20,000+ newsletter subscribers, and 300,000+ social media followers on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and YouTube. This site was created by Peter Waite, who was diagnosed with chronic illness nearly 20 years ago. Peter's vision was to create a community where people could reach out and find support and understanding from others dealing with chronic illness. He also wanted to encourage people to help others dealing with similar health challenges and by doing so find healing themselves. You can follow Peter's HealingWell blog to read more about his insights on chronic illness and his approach to healing and mindfulness.
Over the years, HealingWell.com has been featured by several major media publications, including BBC Online, USA Today, MSNBC, the New York Times, the Associated Press, the Industry Standard, Reader's Digest, PBS.org, Forbes.com, and USA Weekend Magazine. HealingWell.com has also been the recipient of numerous awards. We have grown largely by word of mouth, serving millions of visitors around the world each month.