Thanks for the replies. Your support has been very welcome. I can't do anything with the kids because she has ruined our credit so bad that I can't even get an apartment. Her mom owns the house we were living in because she lost our house. To make matters worse she was able to get a court order to take my paycheck with a judgement that requires me to pay a 400 car note, 250 phone bill, 500 to her attorney, 1100 alimony, and 1119 child support every month. I only make 2700 a month and she hasn't worked since before her episode. She tried to have me thrown in jail last week for not being able to make payments. But as far as the kids I had to sacrifice that relationship to protect them. When I wasn't her target, she had my 16 year old son throw in jail and sent to the psych ward. He jumped out the car at 40mph just to get away from her. He may be bipolar too. My 11yr old daughter was okay at the time. She is like me, but she stresses a lot. My wife has laid into her too. Many times though my daughter has told my wife to go to the hottie place and walked off when my wife lays into her. But I didn't know how long that would last. Ultimately, I had to lie to my wife and kids and tell them I didn't want a relationship with the kids. That took a lot of reading what my wife was saying and paying attention to what was going on. I never can be sure. But for 2 months now I haven't gotten any calls from the kids about
their mom, and she hasn't called me about
them. Quite the opposite. They are doing good. It's a cross between a united front and my wife's focus on me as a target. Did I want this? Never!!! My children are my world but reading the situation and knowing what has worked in the past, I really had no choice.
As far as getting her to see a psychiatrist, I have begged her and she said she would, but as most of us know I'm more likely to run across a poker playing, cigar smoking unicorn with a foot fetish than a manic in psychosis that feels they need to go see a doctor.
The sad part about
all of this is that we've been married for 25 years, 25 long years, and nothing like this has ever happened. Now I'm not saying all the warning signs weren't just sitting right there in front of me the whole time. But the being a totally different person thing (delusional) has blown my mind. It's like she wants to be married to her mom and I'm this terrible person who has been the worst husband. Her mom is probably bipolar. I can't quite figure out her mom. I know her dad didn't believe in ADHD, Bipolar disorder, or anything else. He was a great guy but a little closed minded. That's why her mom probably went 76 years without being diagnosed. Point is her mom is 50% of the problem. Her mom keeps giving her opinions about
what my wife should do, she's paying for her divorce, constantly giving these false opinions about
me to feed my wife's delusions. So basically, I'm fighting a unwinnable battle against a disease, 2 outside influences that keep rewriting the past, the courts, my children, and my finances. Yet I still think I can win. And I have the audacity to call my manic wife delusional.
Oh, every time I text or communicate in any way she just doesn't respond. I hate that. Then she will lie and say "Oh I don't sit around with my phone next to me all day."Knowing that she actually does do this but doesn't answer out of spite, I replied one time "why not, that's what I'm paying you for." I got no reply of course.
Above was to respond to your replies and also I liked the relationship deranged comment.
Also, I guess I could add a few more observations if it helps to further identify if I'm on the right track. Obviously, only a psychiatrist can diagnose this, but it helps me if I know what I'm dealing with.
My only concern is with mania, she doesn't seem to be hyper just very angry, like cyclone bag of hornets angry been that way for 6 months. The rapid speech I have heard but not a lot. And with Bipolar affective disorder my wife seems to go into manic in the fall and would that be depression in the spring? Is this correct?
Her delusions are minor and only involve me. I never saw anything in the research on that. Had to find it on forums and from coworkers. Additionally, her logic makes no sense at all. By the way she has the no working memory and hypothyroidism.
If anyone knows of any good sites that are research based or written by psychiatrists please let me know.I hope what I have listed has been helpful to others because I'm really good at researching and this has been one crappy topic to search.
Post Edited (palisade) : 3/1/2017 9:37:09 AM (GMT-7)