I think it’s good that you are reaching out for help.
As someone who has bi-polar, I recognize in myself someone of the things you say about
This includes the part about
hesitating to get help. I had depression for several weeks, and couldn't make a decision as to what to do. I was living in an apartment by myself, wasn't good at taking care of myself, and was just going in circles over this problem.
My mind got where it couldn't handle it anymore, and I had a nervous breakdown. Luckily, I got to a psychiatrist in time, and recovered. But you're taking a real chance if you keep putting off getting help.
Your husband is lucky that he has someone else in the house trying to help him. He just doesn't know it.
(I was about
27 at the time of this first "bad" outbreak of emotional problems, which I think is about
the time it can happen in a lot of people. I think your husband may be about
What has helped me is Lithium and an anti-depressant. The Lithium lowers the mania and helps lift the depression.
When I took my first Lithium tablet, I felt like the air being let out of a too tight balloon. I didn't know I was that uptight. I thought, "Why haven't I been taking Lithium before?"
My mother’s mother had bipolar, but there were no medications for it, and when visiting someone, she would go into their medicine cabinet and take whatever pills she saw, as she was seeking to calm this turmoil that was within her mind.
As a manic-depressive, and as her grandson, I know what she was feeling, this terror, and how she was looking for any relief from that. She would also go into bars and drink. So we can be glad that now bipolar is treatable.
You said, “Most of the time, he is loving, kind and a very fun, light hearted person. However 4-6 times a year he gets into a "mood" which can last 2-3 weeks and he is a completely different person.”
Then you added, “The smallest thing irritates him. He will yell and scream and bang his hands against a table over something like slow internet. And if I tell him to calm down he'll say he'll do whatever the F*&( he wants, with no regard for how these blow ups affect me or our son.”
The part where he accuses you of cheating, I can ID with, also. I’m not exactly sure what that is, although I connect it with feelings of inferiority (depresson?) and paranoia.
I’m not sure if paranoia is part of bipolar, I think it is in its larger stages, but that to me is what it feels like inside my mind, as well as feelings of inferiority during the depressive stage.
(For in the manic stage, he probably feels like he’s too good for you, so it makes sense, that in the depressed stage, when he’s feeling worthless, he thinks you’re too good for him, and coupled with paranoia, starts “seeing” you out with a very successful person and planning on leaving and…..”)
Also what I think he is doing here is, he’s driving you away. It’s the self-fulfilling prophecy. In depression, first he sees himself as a failure; that means you’re more successful than he is; that means, you seeing someone else.
He believes all of that, and in a way, wants it to happen so he’ll be right; his thinking will be clear; he will be the failure that he envisions for himself.
You say, “I have asked him to go see a professional and he says he has no interest in talk therapy as it is all BS and he has no problems, it's "all chemical".
"He said he just wants someone to give him some drugs so he doesn't have these "mood swings". But I feel like mood swings don't last for 2-3 weeks."
"Also he never goes to the doctor. I asked him to bring it up with his family doctor at his last check up and it's obvious that he positioned it as a "bad mood" because the doctor told him getting grumpy comes with age. What our family is experiencing is not grumpiness.”
"So, he really doesn’t want to go to the doctor."
To go with the tough part of this problem first, I don’t how to solve that, either.
You ask, “Are there books or other resources you would recommend so I can read up on what might be happening and better equip myself to deal with these challenges?”
And “Are there techniques I can use to inspire him to help?”
Great question. Um.
What helped me solve problems is that I came across something that said being positive going into a problem that you can solve it, doubles the chances that you will do so. You sound like you are positive and that should be a big help.
You may never solve this problem, but never stop being positive that you can solve it.
You can show him this letter, if you want. I might say something like, “This might not be causing you problems, but it sure is causing me and our son problems. If you can’t do this for yourself, seeing a psychiatrist, how about
doing this for your wife and your son?"
"Also, your behavior is affecting this marriage, so consider doing it for that reason, also."
You can remind him about
being positive about
this problem, and how important it is that he have that attitude going into it. A little bit of information at the doctor's office about
what it going on is not going to hurt anybody.
Second, you can say, you don’t have to take any medicine, just talk to the psychiatrist and see what he or she thinks. Go back for a second visit, and talk about
that some more. about
if medicine might help. All you’re doing is getting information that can help you.
Also, you need to go when you’re not in one of your states. You need to go when your decision making ability is there.
Also, in the future, it gets worse, you’ll already have a psychiatrist.
You mentioned, “His aunt had schizophrenia, and I'm not too familiar with the differences.”
As I said, my grandmother had bipolar, so that’s where I got it from. It skipped a generation.
So, he might want to look for that in his family line, first with his parents, then grandparents, for it can skip a generation. He can ask his parents, or aunts and uncles, if anyone in the family had mood swings.
I think you’re right to be getting on this.
You and he will have to work as a team, for your son if no one else.
Meaning he will have to get positive about
this, and be a team player, not a horse’s ass. Did I say that?
Some families will not get through this. OK? It is very tough. Some families don’t have what it takes. We don’t know what side of the ledger your family is on.
You have a good second baseman, that would be you. It’s the third baseman we’re wondering about
. If he comes through, we have a good team. If doesn’t, we might lose this one. Junior might have to suffer, because of the third baseman.
I found the below on the net search engine by typing in: “schizophrenia” and then in a separate search: “bipolar” and would suggest you search the net also under these topics. (I don't think this is schizophrenia.)
Hallucinations. These usually involve seeing or hearing things that don't exist
• Disorganized thinking (speech). Disorganized thinking is inferred from disorganized speech. Effective communication can be impaired, and answers to questions may be partially or completely unrelated.
• Negative symptoms. This refers to reduced or lack of ability to function normally. For example, the person may neglect personal hygiene or appear to lack emotion (doesn't make eye contact, doesn't change facial expressions or speaks in a monotone). Also, the person may have lose interest in everyday activities, socially withdraw or lack the ability to experience pleasure.
Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks.
There are four basic types of bipolar disorder; all of them involve clear changes in mood, energy, and activity levels. These moods range from periods of extremely “up,” elated, and energized behavior (known as manic episodes) to very sad, “down,” or hopeless periods (known as depressive episodes). Less severe manic periods are known as hypomanic episodes.
• Bipolar I Disorder— defined by manic episodes that last at least 7 days, or by manic symptoms that are so severe that the person needs immediate hospital care. Usually, depressive episodes occur as well, typically lasting at least 2 weeks. Episodes of depression with mixed features (having depression and manic symptoms at the same time) are also possible.
• Bipolar II Disorder— defined by a pattern of depressive episodes and hypomanic episodes, but not the full-blown manic episodes described above.
Signs and Symptoms
• People with bipolar disorder experience periods of unusually intense emotion, changes in sleep patterns and activity levels, and unusual behaviors. These distinct periods are called “mood episodes.” Mood episodes are drastically different from the moods and behaviors that are typical for the person. Extreme changes in energy, activity, and sleep go along with mood episodes.
• Sometimes a mood episode includes symptoms of both manic and depressive symptoms. This is called an episode with mixed features. People experiencing an episode with mixed features may feel very sad, empty, or hopeless, while at the same time feeling extremely energized.
• Bipolar disorder can be present even when mood swings are less extreme. For example, some people with bipolar disorder experience hypomania, a less severe form of mania. During a hypomanic episode, an individual may feel very good, be highly productive, and function well. The person may not feel that anything is wrong, but family and friends may recognize the mood swings and/or changes in activity levels as possible bipolar disorder. Without proper treatment, people with hypomania may develop severe mania or depression.
• Proper diagnosis and treatment help people with bipolar disorder lead healthy and productive lives. Talking with a doctor or other licensed mental health professional is the first step for anyone who thinks he or she may have bipolar disorder. The doctor can complete a physical exam to rule out other conditions. If the problems are not caused by other illnesses, the doctor may conduct a mental health evaluation or provide a referral to a trained mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist, who is experienced in diagnosing and treating bipolar disorder.
Different types of medications can help control symptoms of bipolar disorder. An individual may need to try several different medications before finding ones that work best.
Medications generally used to treat bipolar disorder include:
• Mood stabilizers
• Atypical antipsychotics
Post Edited (Tim Tam) : 3/7/2017 7:01:26 PM (GMT-7)