I have Bipolar 1, also.
I take 700mg of Lithium and 7.5mg of Mirtazapine anti-depressant.
My mother’s mother had Bipolar back in the 1930’s, 1940s and mid 1950s.
They did not have any treatment for Bipolar at that time, and I think they diagnosed people with that as Schizophrenic.
I’ve even seen psych books from the mid 1960s which may not have even listed manic-depression, but again, said the behavior was Schizophrenia.
So at least we got misdiagnosed as Depressed, not Schizophrenic. I bet those people also got upset about being misdiagnosed.
My grandmother was very much wanting to calm herself, since Lithium was not around, and when visiting in homes, would go into medicine cabinets and take whatever pills were there hoping for some relief. She would also go into bars.
She also spent some years in mental institutions.
You said, “My psychiatrist informed me while I was thankfully hospitalized, he said it takes time and detailed documentation to form an accurate diagnosis."
"Personally I had six different psychiatrists inaccurately diagnosed me; all diagnosis were on an outpatient structure. It wasn't until I was hospitalized and under their care and many eyes observing me; I finally got an accurate diagnosis”
Were you dx’d as Depressive all of those six times? Were you given just an anti-depressant each of those 6 times, rather than something like Lithium to counter balanced it, so you wouldn’t go into mania with the anti-depressant alone?
When given just an anti-dep., what would your behavior be?
What were some of the other dx’s and meds?
Who was it who emailed you of your mother’s death, your eighty year old father?
You were dx’d at almost 50. How old were you when you first started having trouble?
Bipolar I think is often inherited. Did your parents or grandparents have that? Sometimes it can skip a generation, so your parents may not have had it. Maybe it can make us feel less guilty knowing it was inherited.
What happened with the family situation?
My situation somewhat different but somewhat the same. With me, it was finding out that I had a bad marriage when our child was 3, which was the start of 29 years of rough going.
I was not able to leave the marriage, didn’t really want to because of the child and my finances and problems, so instead of not being out of the family and having a tough time,
I stayed in the house and the marriage and had a tough time.
You say, “Still I struggle and try to get through the day.” What are the tough parts of your day?
When I was depressed, I would cry. Is that what is getting to you?