Welcome to the forum!
I am sorry to hear of your struggles. Have you tried mindfulness for your pain? Even though the pain is physical, mindfulness can help. Some years ago, I got into a car accident and received some damages which caused a lot of pain. I used mindfulness which helped me through the pain sometimes.
Check out our resources area where you can get info on mindfulness in the anxiety, bipolar or depression sections:https://www.healingwell.com/conditions/
I hope it helps and you feel better.