Thank you for your reply.
In your first post, you said, “i feel deeply depressed at the afternoon especially after lunch forward until late in the afternoon. Also feel bad in quiet deserted places, i hate the country side abandoned places or industrial zones”
So, there you are showing a lot of depression. For whatever reason, for whatever the location, you are “deeply depressed.”
The you say you “love the cities the noise and the disarray.”
Then after lunch, “I start to feel sick and distressed.” And “the worst hours are 2, 3, 4, and 5 p.m.”
You are going way up, with your “love of the cities and the noise and the disarray.
”And way down, with “I feel deeply depressed at the afternoon.” And “I hate the country.”
But you “love” the cities.
As a bipolar myself, you seem to be getting very excited over some things (the cities) and “very depressed” at others (afternoons).
As I said in my first post, during the 2 years I was working in an office with other people, I was very excited with all the talk and activity.
When I lost my job, about the 2nd or 3rd day I was starting to get depressed, and then went into a full depression by the 3rd or 4th day probably.
That to me is very similar to your “loving” the cities and “very depressed” over the countryside.
In a way, it’s not so much what’s going on outside (country or city, working or not working), it’s our inside condition of bipolar.
The outside condition is merely exposing that.
This is all my opinion as a bipolar.
1. Most people don’t get overly excited by being in a city (or working a job) and very depressed in the country (or being out of a job.). They can handle it either way without going overboard. So something is going on inside of us (bipolar?).
2. You are 25, maybe approaching the age when bipolar can start to show. So maybe you are not full blown bipolar yet, but inching towards that. In another year or two or three, you may lose a job or lose a girlfriend, and you could get really down or very excited over something good.
3. You say you have relatives who have emotional problems, saying, “i suspect that my mother is obessesive compulsive and my grandmother takes xanax for sleeping.”
So, you’re 25, have emotional problems in the family, and feel very depressed when you drive out into the country, and “love” the city.
It looks to me, as a bipolar, as though you have some “factors.”
I think it’s good to know things like this in advance of any potential trouble, rather than be wondering what’s going on if trouble starts to brew, as was in my case.
You say, “I live in Portugal and we don't have the custom of going to psychiatrist”
I’m not sure I quite understand that. Even if you’re like, really, really sick, what do you do?
Just go to a general medicine doctor and he gives you some tranquilizers?
Yet, they don’t really treat you for specific things like bipolar, with a mood stabilizer like Lithium (which is what I take) and an anti-depressant (I take Mirtazapine)?
As far as your grandmother taking Xanax for sleep, has she ever taken a health food suppiment for that?
I take Melatonin health food supplement for sleep. You should check with your doctor or druggist about health food suppliments, for they may not go good with the meds you are taking, or, they may be just plain bad for you by themselves.
My psychiatrist says Melatonin from the health food store is OK, because it has been around for a long time.
One person on this site said they took for awhile, “Knock-out” from the health food store, which has Melatonin and Valerian Root combined, and he said it worked very well.
He also recommended "Chamomile" calmative from the health food store.
You can order these items on the net if there is no health food store near you. You‘ll have to decided what you think is best.