My life with bipolar

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Wacko920
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2017
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 9/9/2017 11:54 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm a 54 year old male that was diagnosed with bipolar in 2000, and PTSD in 2016. I take Lamotrigine 200MG a day for the bipolar and Aripiprazole 10MG a day for the PTSD.

I see a psychiatrist, but the only therapy I can get is group which doesn't work for me. I can't be in a room with more than one maybe two people, and crowds or being crowded is a no no. The place that I go too have people that call me once a month and try to get me to do a group. I'm like NO! Thank goodness my psychiatrist understands.

I have other issues as well such as a cyst in my head pushing my brain to the left. I live with chronic pain from the cyst and arthritis in my back and neck. I have heart problems, high blood pressure, and diabetes as well. The joy of getting old, lol.

I got into a fight with my medical doctor a few months back and quit seeing him, so my family and psychiatrist has been on me to get a new one. They don't seem to understand what it means for me to get on a crowded bus, sit in a crowded doctors office, and then get on a crowded bus again. For me it's a real fight and both mentally and physically wipes me out. I guess on monday I will have to bit the bullent and do it since I'm having issues with my heart again. Oh, and that means after all the busses and doctors office I get to do another bus and doctors office to see the cardiologist. God, this is a hard one.

So, I fight every day with my issues and just needed to unload a bit.

kellyinCali
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2009
Total Posts : 292
   Posted 9/9/2017 10:43 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so sorry that you have so much to contend with. I am pleased to hear that your bipolar is being managed. I'd like to suggest that you "cross post" on the **Anxiety/Panic** Forum as it is more active and the PTSD you describe will be familiar to some of its members.

Cyber HUG.

Wacko920
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2017
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 9/11/2017 8:02 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you, I will see about cross posting it.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 19939
   Posted 9/16/2017 2:23 AM (GMT -7)   
good med mix. i use lamo as well. least amount of s/e, as with aripiprozole. i have arthritis, diabetes, had double by pass. my anxiety is when i do uni teaching gigs, and i vomit before i head out, but still do it. desensitization might be useful, like on buses with not many peeps on board. i freak out at airports, customs and immigration, shake, sweat, palps.....one would think i was loaded with drugs!!! but......i still do it. breathing exercises help me. might u too. forum slow atm. ht.

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4409
   Posted 9/18/2017 7:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Wacko920,

Welcome to the forum!

I am so sorry for your struggles.Talking in front of people was never a strength for me. But I learned by force due to work. However, I know talking about your feelings in front of others may be more overwhelming and frightening. Group therapy is a safe place. I guess you can also listen to others sharing their experience and coping techniques, and it can be helpful to you.

How did you appointments go? I hope they went well!

UA
Moderator - Bipolar

Wacko920
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2017
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 10/27/2017 10:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all and thank you for the warm welcome. I haven't been around for awhile because I have been having severe anxiety and panic attacks. I ended up in the hospital which was no fun. I post about the anxiety in the anxiety forums.

My bipolar and ptsd drugs have remained the same and they seem to be a good mix. I'm taking a new med called Alprazolam for the anxiety/panic attacks and it's working well, but it's as needed and I can only take it 3-4 times a week. If I take it more than that and my doc says were going to have to have a chat, lol. I'm good with my drugs now, so that won't be an issue.

In groups or crowded places I get that feeling of fight or flight. I get racingheart , cold sweats, heat in my face, shaking and hard time breathing. I have to get out like NOW! which is how I feel when it happens. As I'm getting older (54 now) it's getting harder to be in crowded places, but I'm starting to deal better with the new meds and techniques.

I have decided to try a group bipolar meeting on monday and see if I can sit through it. We shall see how that goes, but I'm not going to push it after spending time in a hospital for anxiety. I don't want to go back, lol.

I kept all my appointments so far (3 bus trips in one month) and it wasn't easy, but I did deal. My doc is sending me in for and MRI on the 3rd to see how that cyst in my head is doing. I will have to take the bus to the hospital, but a friend is giving me a ride home so it won't be so bad. I then have two other appointments to go to next month. I'm getting better with the bus since I have my coping skills, so it should be ok.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 19939
   Posted 10/27/2017 10:22 PM (GMT -7)   
good work. thx for checkin' in. keep strong.

Wacko920
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2017
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 10/28/2017 5:30 AM (GMT -7)   
theHTreturns... said...
good work. thx for checkin' in. keep strong.


Thank you and I will for sure

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4409
   Posted 11/1/2017 7:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi,

I am glad to hear that the new medication seems to be working for you. This is great news!
Sorry that you ended up hospitalized. Please take care of yourself!

Group meeting sounds good. I think this is a good step. You may learn new coping skills from other sharing as well. Let us know how it goes for you.
Keep us updated on the MRI results as well.

Take Care!

UA
Moderator - Bipolar

Wacko920
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2017
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/2/2017 12:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I missed the meeting cause a nurse came to see me on that day at that time. I wasn't expecting her. I can't do it tomorrow cause I have the mri. Hopefully next week I will make it.
Helen Keller once said “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4409
   Posted 11/6/2017 5:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Hope you make it to the meeting next week.

Keep us updated on the MRI results.

UA
Moderator - Bipolar

Wacko920
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2017
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 11/6/2017 7:24 AM (GMT -7)   
I have my doctors app on the 13th, so I won't be able to go that day either. I should get my MRI results that day so it's an app I need to keep. So, I'm shooting for the meeting on the 20th.

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4409
   Posted 11/8/2017 5:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Ohh nooo.
Hope you are able to make it on the 20th! I am excited to hear all about it.

UA
Moderator - Bipolar
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