maybe turning your children against you and in her favor, and did the marital trouble begin with the birth of the first child when she knew she had you, you said:
“The birth of our first child did seem to change things. Subtle changes, but they continued to grow over time.”
And, “I see her doing that with the boys, who are the youngest - especially the youngest one. The other day, when he was home from college, and my wife and I got into an argument - he blurted out that dad causes 90% of the arguments. I was shocked to hear that. He darned well knows it is not that one-sided. I cannot talk to either of my sons about
my problems. I can with my daughter, and in part it is because her husband's dad had bipolar, and he ended up hanging himself. So they understand the torture one can go through with bipolar.”
My wife would turn my son against me, when he was small, she would let him do anything he wanted, and give him a bunch of toys. When grown, she would give him money, pay him off.
As an add-on to that, after my wife died 8 years ago, my son and I in a way got along OK, in a way we didn’t. So about
8 months ago, I caught him in an attack on me, one of my health problems, and it called for a dramatic change.
I basically disowned him. I haven’t legally changed anything, although one person has not poo-pawed that idea, but for 8 months he hasn't been allowed to come onto my property, I do not call him or return his calls, and maybe 1 or 2 e-mails for a financial situation.
No phone calls because I cannot stand the sound of his voice. That also involves his two kids and wife. So this problem has dropped down 2 generations.
One thing I figured was something so strange you probably wouldn’t include in one of your novels. And that is, I seen signs that my wife wants to attack even though she passed away 8 years ago.
I’m considering everything I can think of about
her still attacking me, except for my son.
Then when I caught him, it starts me to thinking about
other incidents like that, and I came up with a series of them. I realized he had been 90% positive with me, except when I really needed his help, which is when he would rise up and declare my request unreasonable.
You see what’s happening? He’s not really helping me. He’s giving me meaningless assistance, but when a health request comes up, he shows anger and doesn’t help.
I realized that he might be an agent of my deceased wife to continue her attacks on me. It’s also a apart of his anger personality disorder, but I do believe he was helping her.
So, I’m saying, is your wife turning your kids against you? And, don’t expect great rewards from them for all the work you did raising them, for behind your back, she may be downgrading you, paying them off, playing the perfect parent, grandparent. As in get ready, because it doesn’t ever end.
Also, as in, if you don’t leave because you’re waiting around for better days, or for your children to begin making it all worthwhile, it ain’t gonna happen. I’m also not suggesting you leave, because it could be twice as bad out there.
You said, “Yes, if we had no children I would be gone.” Well, in a way, you have no children now. They are grown. The ball is in your court. It’s your move.
If you can make it on your own, you might want to consider that. But, then, also, she will find a way reach you, attack through the children. She’ll have to make it look like she’s winning, but being away from her, reduces her attacks by 90%.
Also, if she has no income, she’ll be hitting you up for money very often. I just wouldn’t give it to her. I would have no contact with her. Be ready to contact a lawyer about
I think one of the big issues is, did she have trauma? I think from what you said, and about
the way she acts, that she did.
Also, you said, “She has never mentioned being abused, but she has hinted at serious problems with her father and the way he treated the children. Especially her younger sister, who was born out of wedlock because her mother had an affair during their marriage. That woman is really messed up, but that is another story.
And, “i just thought of something - her father has watched our kids a number of times, and my wife has hinted her concerns about
him - like she was worried he might do something, but she has never gone into the details. i have always found that strange.”
OK, that might be what we’re looking for. Her actions now, her shaky feeling about
her father, the borderline situation, putting all of that together. What do you think?
My mother was sexually abused by her father, I figured that out from the type of info above that we are talking about
. I rem. now, the times as a teen or as an adult when I was alone in a room with my mother, the wild, wide-eyed look she had on her face a few times, as if something was about
to happen, as if one time in her life something had happened.
Like you, I didn’t know what that was, but, as an adult with more knowledge and experiences, I see those signs different than I use to.
If that did happen with your wife, and you’re a male, what do think the future holds if you stay in that house? You become a target like she was at one time.
And, since a male made her life miserable, she’s going to make your life miserable to even the score. A male took advantage of her when she was weak as a child, so she’s going to show no mercy on you as a male when you’re down and show a weakness, or can be brought down.
I figured out with my wife, that she had to dominate, she had to win over me every time, because losing to a male could be really bad, and both of them are/were determined, it’s not going to happen again. This time I’m going to fight.
Post Edited (Tim Tam) : 9/25/2017 2:04:49 PM (GMT-6)