Posted 11/20/2017 11:53 AM (GMT -7)
I had a woman I was helping in the last couple of years. She was, let's just say, a somewhat dangerous character.
She had already conned me once, after I had helped her for several months, and let me know if I tried to recoup anything, that she owned a pistol, and wasn't afraid to use it. That's as close to friendship as she ever got.
So we know she's dangerous. Somehow, 8 or 10 months later, I got back in touch with her. OK, big mistake. So, I talked to her on the phone for 6 or 8 more months.
Didn't talk with her for 4 months because she got a boyfriend. Then one day she appeared on my back porch. Difficult not to invite her into the house, although getting into the house is her step 1 to something, which I don't need to know about.
So she comes in, has supper in the car, brings it in, we have a warm dining experience, too warm. Something is amiss. Right before leaving she says, "I'll be back before the weekend's over."
I have a couple of days to think. How can I keep her out of my house? What about a sign on the front and back door, "I am not able to entertain"?
Even I realized, if she ever gets back into this house, with a long time to figure out what she wants to do, I'm going to be at a severe disadvantage. I never even heard her knock, which was my plan, and she didn't try to contact me after that, it's been several months.
You say, "Another thing is I don't trust him. When unmediated he makes up stories and indulges in fantasies and delusions. Not a solid character by any means"
So it reminds me somewhat of the person I was having to deal with, or choose to deal with. I think at such times you really have to come to terms with yourself, as well as the other person.
You really have to see them at their worst, in my case it was the woman stealing from me, in your case, your boyfriend hitting you, and constantly demeaning you, sapping your self confidence, to where you might not be able to leave.
I think we have to see that, decide how we're going to deal with that, and then put our plan to get away in motion.
"Not a solid character" says a lot, meaning he is capable of underhandedness, dirty tricks. If he's cheating on you, that's pretty dirty.
My wife cheated on me, but that was not her biggest fault. Her biggest fault was, if and when I caught her cheating, she was going to lower the boom on me, rather than the opposite.
She was going to demand that I leave our own house, leave our own child, and if I didn't, give me heck every day for not leaving.
That was her dirtiest trick, and also showed how much concern she had for our child.
So you need to be aware of your environment, and how much or how little you're doing to get away from it. And how positive, or not, you are that you can escape this.