You can set boundaries and have standards for what a relationship needs to look like for you, regardless of what the diagnosis of your partner may be. Encouraging her to behave differently might lead to a conversation about
how well her bipolar disorder is being managed, but ultimately whether she seeks different treatment in order to fulfill her side of this relationship is up to her. She might not see them as being related, and if she does agree with that and commits to managing her symptoms differently, then it may take time. But you are allowed to talk to her about
this, and should! Your needs matter, too.
Sara (Lyme, ME, POTS, HPA axis dysfunction....)
P.S. People often use "BPD" as an abbreviation for borderline personality disorder, which is a different condition. But since you posted on a bipolar disorder forum, I'm assuming you mean bipolar disorder? Just want to make sure. I'd say the same thing about
your situation, either way.