You are doing well. Most people don't even get going until much later in the process. While keeping contact with the other BP is not advisiable now, introducing her to him was not actually as bad as you think, in as much as she now knows that there are other people out there like her. This, believe it or not, can be a secrete glimmer of hope for her - "there are people out there who understand" and it may make it easier for her to work with her medics when she gets the help she needs.
"she keeps saying she doesnt want to be here anymore, that she hurts everyone around her and how she has always felt evil and knows she's going to hell." This is typical of the more delusional depression, but strange as it seems often people with this level of intensity do better under treatment, because they are ultimately more motivated than those with lesser symptoms to adhere to medication. Part of the trick in dealing with this is to recognise that her statements are exagerations of some form and occasionally show her a counter example. Remind her of something good she did. Tell her of some love she has shown, by a kind word or generous act now or in the past. Recall the positive things. When depressed, she might not seem to hear your reassurances, but she still needs them and benefits from them. Encourage her to not make big decisions until she feels a little better, reminding her that she can always make them later. Avoid feeling hurt by recognising the chemical nature of this, and that comments made may be even less thought through than a drunks mumblings. The one thing that is definitely true even in these communication is the deep dis-ease felt and her desire to relate it to you. Above all remain open to her in terms of listening, and showing a sincere desire to understand as best you can. Finally, don't be affraid to take action to protect her from herself by calling medics and where advised or no advice available going to ER [increased agitation is a sign to call her medic].
When it comes to the relationship between you both the best thing is to work with the medical team to help her find a more balanced life that allows her mood to remain more stable. Then address whatever real concerns, if any, there may be without the distorting mood swings.
It is important too to remember you also need help at this time. So, it is time to invoke the help of family, friends, and professionals, where possible, to support you supporting her.
Keep us posted
You both are in my thoughts.
Post Edited (SMSIRL) : 2/3/2006 10:43:40 PM (GMT-7)