Rapid cycling?

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 3/12/2006 7:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi there!  I am still waiting to go to pdoc but nervous about it too.  I worry he's not going to believe me or misdiagnose me because I"m not really fitting any pattern right now and I have never been this off.  My moods are right wacked out.  I seem to wake up okay and clean like a bugger.  Then I'll often take a nap but sometimes not.  I've found that often in the evenings I get super restless but have no desire to really do anything.  I come on the computer and play games but I can't concentrate and my eyes are jumping all over the place.  I feel kinda agitated and am constantly shifting, running my fingers through my hair, itchy, just feeling weird and kinda like I'm high on drugs.  I have periods where I am super cranky and screaming but I do not seem to have one stable mood throughout the day.  I'm jumping all over the place.  I had a deep depressed period for a couple of weeks but it was mixed in with agitation and feeling up too.  I would go to my room for 2 hours and feel almost suicidal but then emerge a couple of hours later and be giddy and full of energy that I didn't know what to do with.  I know ultra rapid cycling isn't soppose to be all that common and I'm paranoid the dr. is going to think I'm exagerating.  I don't know if I have more mania (or hypomania) or depression.  I don't know what I am.  I am so confused and don't even know what I'm feeling most of the time and can't describe it.  I feel like I'm losing my mind some days and others I get through okay.  I find I feel really out of it on the weekends (possible mania or hypomania).  I don't know if it's because my husband goes away almost every weekend or it's a normal cycle.  I have never been this wacked out.  It started with a really agitated spell in early February and I haven't evened out since then.  I hate this feeling.  Sometimes I think so clearly but other times its' so cloudy.  Okay well, I've rambled enough.  What do you all think?

Ellie 1
Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 3/12/2006 7:53 AM (GMT -7)   
You sound alot like me before meds. I'm still not stable, but I've only been doing the med thing a couple of months. Pdoc should be able to figure it all out for you. It may take a little while but things do get better.
Mornings are still best for me. By afternoon I'm agitated and irritable. That doesn't seem to be changing.
Good luck at your appt.
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.

New Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/12/2006 2:33 PM (GMT -7)   

Remember One Very Important Thing

You are NOT ALONE.. Rapid cycle sucks and this to will pass. Keep a journal and talk it out with your Pdoc. It took 7 months to get me on the correct "drug cocktail". DO NOT GIVE UP and stay on your meds and take them at the same time. It really does get better....  It did for me



Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 3/12/2006 2:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you both. I am not even on any meds yet as I am on the waiting list to see the pdoc. It's driving me crazy. And I'll probably get in when I'm at my best either late spring or early summer and then somehow I convince myself it won't come back but it always does and it is so unpredictable now! Today I could feel my body humming with the excess energy and I was feeling very irritable. I went in my room and tried to lay down. Well, Of course I couldn't sleep but I just didn't want to be around anyone. Anyways, I got up and yelled a few times at hubby and kids so I gave in and took a klonopin. It calmed me down a bit but I still feel cranky but the body buzzing has settled down. Just wish I could get into pdoc soon. Sick of the rollercoaster. Thanks for listening.

Ashley C
Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 95
   Posted 3/22/2006 6:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Wow! It is great to realize that someone if feeling the exact same way that I am. I have read several of your posts and you describe the way I am feeling right now perfectly! From what I have researched I did not know if it was possible to experience symptoms of depression and mania at the same time...besides in the "mixed' state. For the past month I have felt extremely depressed with all of the symptoms from crying uncontrollably to guilt to suicidal thoughts...but I also have had my moods switch from day to day and I become extremely energized. Just a few days ago I was crying alot and talking about how I hated myself and life and then a few hours later it seems I was going through a stage of mania. I was totally and uncontrollably fidgety, laughing, and moving for a period of two hours straight. I was kicking my lecks non-stop, talking, laughing, making stupid noises and stupid comments. I even felt like and threatned to take off all of my clothes even though I was in front of my husband and his friend which is something I would NEVER do! As I was doing this, I was sitting on the couch and kicking my legs. My husband sat in between my legs on the floor hoping that it would stop my kicking, but I continued to...even kicking him in the side of his head! That same morning I was depressed, sad, and hated everything...and later that evening couldn't stop moving or calm my brain down. How can moods switch so quickly?

As far as a diagnosis for Bipolar Disorder...I took the Mood Disorder Questionare given to me by my University Counselor and was told that it seemed I was high risk for having bipolar disorder. Stupid me waited through a year of painful emotional episodes until now when I am FINALLY seeking help. I have researched Bipolar Disorder thouroughly and the symptoms fit me exactly! My dad was diagnosed with ADHD when he was a child and I have found out that ADHD can sometimes be a misdiagnosis for Bipolar Disorder. My dad's moods has always varied extremely...from being very easy going and non-chalant to being extremely aggressive, hyper, and angry. My mother and I have encouraged him to get help and he denies anything is wrong.

My emotions have became so crazy lately that I quit my job that I absoultely loved when I only had it for three weeks! I quit because my emotions have became so out of control that if I went to work I would have done nothing besides sit at my desk and cry all day. Quiting my wonderful job was a major wake up call to me. I went to my medical doctor first to explain how I was feeling, what my counselor said a year ago and to see if there were any physical causes. He said that just from what I told him alone that it sounded like it was characteristic for Bipolar Disorder and sat me up an appointment with a Psychiatrist. I go to speak with the Psych tomorrow afternoon. In the mean time he completed blood work and tested several things including my thyroid to see if hormones were out of balance. My blood tests were fine so that leaves it to my appointment tomorrow. Do you or anyone else have advice for me on what I am experiencing and does this sound like I am Bipolar?

New Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/22/2006 8:52 AM (GMT -7)   

You are not alone. I've been thinking myself that Iam just plain crazy. Iam on Abilify Wellbutrin when I get depressed and
kolonipin . Most of the time I'am half way desent but a switch turns on and I feel like nothing's working at all . Anger, self hatred , feeling down right evil . I felt like this yesterday. I'am alright today. I can't get motivated to do anything around the house though. Untill I join this site yesterday I felt so alone. Now I know their's others who know what Iam going through and just may be Iam not crazy like I thought.
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