Hi Kathy, This site had been sooo valuable for me. Hope you find the help that I did and do every week. The people here are wonderful...those suffering from BP and those that seek the help and understanding of caring people living with a loved one who is going through difficult times. For those of us not living with the physical part BP it is sometimes so very hard to understand what's happening. Unfortunately I'm not writing to clarify anything but to empathize with how crazy it feel to us, as well. I don't get so much of what is going on with my sister. I want to understand, I really want to get it and I don't. I see what's happening to her. I hate it for her. I see how unbearable and tortuous living with BP can be. And, I don't get it. Yes, I comprehend medically and intellectually, I've read every book, I've talked and talked about BP forever, but while she is going those awful stages I seem to have some kind of memory loss and...I don't get it. I don't get the outbursts, the phone calls, the I hope a train runs me over feelings, the despair, the uncontrollable hurtful insinuations, the pain, and mostly I don't get how when it's all over we continue loving where we left off and carry on. I feel for you, Kathy, because my sister is not my husband and, God forgive me, some days I can put my head in the sand, not answer the phone at 3 AM, pretend that she will get her job back, pray that there are no outbursts at family functions and get together for a sister's only lunch to spare my children. Hang in there, Kathy. Hang in. I found a family support group in my area on the internet. Maybe that would help? I work at it all the time and not very well. I wish I were better at helping and understanding. I wish I really knew what to do. I pray for my sister's husband every night and I will include you in that prayer.