Desperate for answers?

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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 3/16/2006 11:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello my name is Kathy,
I am looking for some help to understand the Bi-polar disease. My husband of 14 years now was diagnosed 2 years ago.He went on Zoloft and
mood stabilizer but he only took it for a few months they switched his medication I don't remember the name but these meds made him a nightmare to live with.We actually split up 4 times in 1 mo, he moved out but came back by Sun or a few days later and I took him back each time.Each time he promised to get help but hasn't to this day.He seemed to be doing ok but lately has getting worse again and he is not on any medication and refuses to see a dr. He wakes up every mourning in a fury about something then calls me like nothing ever happened. I don't know what to do I feel like Im going crazy here. I have 3 teen age daughters and we have a 10 year old son who sees this behavior.I am also worried that our son may have this too.He was very suicidal when he was on these medications, I love him but I don't know how to get him the help he needs. Ive begged him to go to counseling with me together but he refuses .What can I do?

                                          Desperate for answers!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 3/16/2006 4:21 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi age2purrfection,  What a cute screen name.  I wanted to tell you welcome to Healing Well forum.  I am sorry it is these circumstances though that have brought you here.  There are so many kind, caring people always willing to help no matter what they may be going through in their lives. 

It sounds as if your husband needs to be back on medication or needs to be seen by a doctor (psychiatrist) at least.  It could be possible that he was not on the right medication combination and that is why he was difficult to live with while he was medicated at the time.  Sometimes (more times than not) doctors have to do many medication adjustments to get the desired effect when you have someone with Bipolar Disorder.  So you have to have a patient that is willing and capable of committing to this treatment to get better.  It is not easy.  I really dont know of anything that you can do for him except to let him know that you are there for him and keep trying to encourage him to seek help.  Hopefully one day he will relent.  In the mean time we are here for you if you ever have any questions or just need to vent...



Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 100
   Posted 3/16/2006 9:20 PM (GMT -7)   
I am sorry for what you are going through at the moment. I have been there with my husband. I wish I could offer you some sound advice to get him to get some help. I don't think there is anything that you can do. As hard as it may be for you, you might have to let him leave and then not let him back in. IT does not work for everyone, but that is the approach that I took. It worked for us. When he does finally begin to see someone it is really important to go to a visit and meet with her doctor. This will really help later should he get really bad. I did not do that with the first doc my husband seen and when he got really bad the doc would not cooperate with me to get him the help he needed or change his meds because my husband was not the one requesting the service. The second doctor he got I went to an appointment and asked a lot of questions. And when my husband needed to be hospitalized the doctor worked with me on this.

Good luck

New Member

Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 3/17/2006 10:09 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Kathy, This site had been sooo valuable for me.  Hope you find the help that I did and do every week.  The people here are wonderful...those suffering from BP and those that seek the help and understanding of caring people living with a loved one who is going through difficult times. For those of us not living with the physical part BP it is sometimes so very hard to understand what's happening.  Unfortunately I'm not writing to clarify anything but to empathize with how crazy it feel to us, as well.  I don't get so much of what is going on with my sister.  I want to understand, I really want to get it and I don't.  I see what's happening to her.  I hate it for her.  I see how unbearable and tortuous living with BP can be.  And, I don't get it.  Yes, I comprehend medically and intellectually, I've read every book, I've talked and talked about BP forever, but while she is going those awful stages I seem to have some kind of memory loss and...I don't get it.  I don't get the outbursts, the phone calls, the I hope a train runs me over feelings, the despair, the uncontrollable hurtful insinuations, the pain, and mostly I don't get how when it's all over we continue loving where we left off and carry on.  I feel for you, Kathy, because my sister is not my husband and, God forgive me, some days I can put my head in the sand, not answer the phone at 3 AM, pretend that she will get her job back, pray that there are no outbursts at family functions and get together for a sister's only lunch to spare my children.  Hang in there, Kathy.  Hang in.  I found a family support group in my area on the internet.  Maybe that would help?  I work at it all the time and not very well.  I wish I were better at helping and understanding.  I wish I really knew what to do.  I pray for my sister's husband every night and I will include you in that prayer.

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 121
   Posted 3/18/2006 8:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Here's a great resource for you:
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