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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 3/22/2006 11:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello all....
   I'm writing today to maybe see if anyone has any ideas.  I'm a 24 year old male back in college at attempting to acheive a Bachelor's Degree.  Throughout my life, I've always had this conception that there's never enough time.......I currently take 18 credit hours of school and work 30 hours a week.  My point is (before I lose focus) is that I've never been able to process more than one piece of information at one time.  I acheived an Associate's degree and worked three years for a company and the only thing I was able to focus on was that I would work out (gym) everyday and really watched what I ate.  I was heavier through high school and my intent was that I was going to get in shape and stay that way!  But suddenly things are as if all the ideas you have about life aren't being realized.  I've always been fairly seclusive and staying to myself because for me to get everything everyone else gets done in a normal day, it takes me a considerable amount of time longer.  Simple tasks as writing emails take so much time because formulating thoughts and ideas don't happen.  It's like my mind is just blank. I have absolutely no sense of time or depth perception.  I have no desire to date or have a girlfriend because I'm worried that there's not enough time......this concept is the key thing that is currently causing a problem in school work also.  It's usually late when I get in from work and I usually don't do my homework which is having obvious impacts.  When I do have brief minutes in between class, I frankly don't know what to do.  It's causing so much trouble, (always have) I avoid situations where the importance is placed on me and sit on the side lines to act as the confident self assured guy.  I've pretty well faked my way through most of my life so far this way, but time is running out.  Obviously now that the focus is on my deciding what to do with my life, I'm quite frankly scared crapless.  I avoid making additional friends because I'm scared that if I fail out of school,(everyone makes it through college so easy) everyone will start to notice that I have a problem.  My whole life I've always relied on other people, which no one has caught on to yet.....It's just stuff that everyone else doesn't think about, I really have to focus on.   An example is forgetfullness.  Day to Day interactions with people, that everyone else remembers, I have no idea of when I talked to that person last or when something happened.  It's just like my whole mind is blank about everything and there's no sense of urgency or idea of success or failure.  Suddenly failing is just another step in my downward spiral.  Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.
I hate to sound like I'm crazy,
But the idea of not having any sense of time has always plagued me,
Which I've never shared with anyone until now.
Thanks for any help.
Schoolboy confused

Ellie 1
Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 3/22/2006 6:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Have you been DX bipolar Schoolboy? It doesn't sound like typical bipolar to me but then I'm certainly no doctor. I would get an appt with a physician and have this checked out.
I have experienced problems focusing but not because my mind feels blank, but because there were so many thing zooming around in there going so fast I was unable to grasp anything at all. Or I have too many projects going at once and find it impossible to finish anything.
I'm sure a pdoc could clear up alot of your questions.
Good luck to you an Welcome to Healingwell
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.

New Member

Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 3/27/2006 12:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi SchoolBoy.

Somehow I know what you're talking about. It always seems as though I don't have enough time, but when I really think about it...I just don't use my time wisely. I mean, I have a lot of things going on at one time and never seem to get anything done. It SEEMS like college and every day life is easier for everyone else, but it's not. There are lots of us out there who feel the same as you but don't talk about it. I have a problem with finishing things. I never finish things. I start a lot of things but never finish. Including my degree. I went for over 2 years, full force, gun ho, but wanted to start making money and got a job instead of finishing college. It's called FOCUS, and I guess I just don't have it. I change my mind all the time, which causes great stress to close friends/family. 18 hours of college is a lot at one time, especially if you're working almost full time. I think you may be stressed because you may be overloaded. I know I get that way if I am overloaded. Too much responsibility and not enough play tends to pile up! Let your hair down and do something off the wall. If you're like me, you won't remember it anyway!?!? Are you on medications? Have you talked to a doc about this? Sorry I don't have any magic answers for you -- just remember this ... you are not the only one who feels this way. I hope you can get some help. I know it's hard sometimes, but just be thankful you are able to work and go to school. Some folks can't even do that much! Take care...
Victim of Bipolar I, IC, IBS, Anxiety, Depression & Panic Disorder

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