I'll try to make a long story short.
Anxiety started at age of 7.
First diagnosed with panic disorder at 24 put on paxil cr .25. Good for three years...pretty much.
Doc took me off of paxil, for some reason, switched me to Lexapro. Didn't work.
Since then I have tried
Paxil CR up to 50mg
Lexapro up to 15mg
And currently am coming down from 200mg zoloft and take .5 xanax three times a day.
So, my doctor wants me to stop trying the SSRI's and move on to something else. I am OCD and have high anxiety. But she also thinks I might have a little tendency toward bi-polar because the high dose of zoloft was making me a little crazy. Can someone be slightly bi-polar...what does that mean?
So for those of you who knows how I feel...I need some advice.
It's like I will be fine for a couple of weeks...then, bam. The bottom drops out. All of the sudden I find myself completely worried about something...get anxious and then drop into a depressed state. Once it lifts, I'm usually fine for awhile. I know I have time where I am really productive and happy about it. It's like I come up with these huge projects:
I'm going to plant a garden, but not only that...it will have herbs that I can learn to dry and then I can make everyone homemade spice racks for Christmas...and I will plant gourds in there and make birdhouses for all of my friends homes.
And, I was really productive for three weeks. Put up a fence, planted a ton of stuff...then bam...now looking at makes me want to vomit it stresses me out so bad.
And last week I got so angry with this girl...it was like going into a tailspin I was so mad. I hated her. The sight of her made me physically enraged. Now I'm fine with her.
Is this how bipolar can feel?
I've never spent thousands of dollars or had lots of sex, which I thought was a big sign. I have had some pretty intense infatuations.
I just know I go from fine to the dumps. It's like a rollar coaster ride. hunky dory one day...bam...hell the next. I guess I'm just looking for some advice. i don't know anything about bipolar...I just know about OCD and Panic...and do they go together.
I'm lost. I need help. I need hope.
Sorry so long.