I was searching the web doing some research on bipolar disorder and I came across this message board. I have some questions and I was wondering if someone would be willing to answer them.
To be short, I am pretty sure I am bipolar. I’ve done a lot of research and reading and all the symptoms fit me exactly. I’m not really in denial about it but I haven’t really taken any steps to help myself either. When I’m down, it’s really bad. Lately it’s gotten so much worse then ever before. Then other times my mind feels like it is constantly racing and I have no way of slowing it down. I have times where I feel great, like I am on top of the world. I’m to the point that I am tired of feeling like I am battling myself all the time. I just feel tired and I can’t do it anymore. I know its time to get help. My wake up call came a few weeks ago when my 4 year old asked me “Mommy, are you going to be happy, mad or sad today”. That was such a punch in the gut for me and a HUGE wake up call. (I also see some signs in him but I don’t know if its because he sees it from me) I feel like people don’t even want to be around me anymore because they don’t know what my mood will be.
Here is my dilemma. I really don’t know how to go about getting help. I know it sounds stupid but I really don’t feel like I can talk about this with anyone. I’m not really close to anyone anymore so I don’t feel like I have anyone to confide in. I also feel like either people won’t take me seriously or they might think I am totally nuts. I just have so many mixed emotions right now. Where do I start? Where do I go? What are some of your experiences on how you got help? I just really need some guidance in the right direction.
Thanks for listening!