I'm currently in the military and just recently came back from a 4 month tour in Iraq. While I was there my wife became severely depressed and self referred herself to a psychologist. The psych originally thought she had PTSD but about 2 months before I came home the dr changed her diagnosis to bipolar II. My wife has always had mood swings but they didn't last very long and I could handle them. The psychologist says my wife is hypomanic - rapid cyclic. My wife can go by high on Mon, low on Tues and then high again on Wed. It used to be that she would have breaks between her ups and downs but ever since being diagnosed her highs and lows have gotten worse. I was in a very rare situation in Iraq in which I could talk to my wife by phone about 2x a day. During my last 3 - 4 weeks in Iraq she had a real bad time and told me to never call her and she wouldn't answer my calls or emails. At the time I still didn't know to much about BP and really took it to heart.
I've been home a little over a month now and things were pretty good. I had to leave again for work for a week and while I was gone she became very irritable and agitated. I've been home now for 4 days and she still has not made me feel welcome at home. In fact she even told me she wishes I hadn't come home. I have two children 3 & 5. Just two nights ago she yelled and cussed me out in front of my 5 yr old son for something I didn't do. I didn't know what to do. He was really effected by it and I've tried to explain that mommy is sick.
She is starting to change. Doing things she never would have done before. Things that I'm shocked that she has done. I love her and I've told her that I will never leave her and that I'll always be here for her. I've made it clear to here that I don't regret one bit being married to her (she asked) but I'm hanging on by a thread here.
She's very upset by all of this and ashamed. She has been referred to a psychiatrist but that only depresses her more. She dreads the idea of taking medicine everyday and says that she won't.
How do I talk to her to let her know that medicine would probably be a good thing without upsetting her?
How do I keep from getting to the point where the mean and hurtful things don't bother me because I don't care anymore?
How do I keep her from doing those things that end up embarassing her once she realizes what she's done especially when I have to be gone for work so much?
Would it be wrong for me to talk to her doctor about things she's done that I know she's not telling her about? I know if my wife found out it would really make her mad.
Thanks and sorry it's so long