I just read your message, and wanted to let you know you are not alone out there! There are alot of people out there including myself who are living with this disease, and it is nothing to be ashamed of, and that there is help out there! So don't give up or get discouraged!
I myself am thinking about joining a support group or something or going to plan on seeing a psychologist to talk my feelings out with. I was diagnosed with ADD recently, and a mood disorder-not specified, but have always thought, and now especially think I may have bipolar disorder, as ADD and Bipolar disorder are said to go hand in hand. This is a hard thing to deal with, most people don't even realize, but I think it is great that you are communicating with others and getting your feelings out there, and probably helping others! I know it helps me to know there are people out there who are dealing with the same issues. So I give you alot of credit for being honest about what you are going through, and sharing your story with others.
I also wanted to encourage you to see your Dr again, or don't be afraid to change Dr's either. And try different meds, they will not all give you the same bad side-effects! But I also can be very apprehensive with things in my life, I seem to be scared of everything! But I also am in the medical field, and I am glad for that because I think it gives me a little different perspective on things as far as this being simply a disease, and like the other person said, you would treat it like it were heart disease or something. We cannot blame ourselves for things that are not in our control. So all the more encouragement to you, I say get out there and talk to people, (I always feel better when I do) and don't worry about what they will think, they may be moodier than you!! Best of Luck with Everything!!