I have been taking meds for about 1 year now. At first, they saved my life. After a while I felt like they stopped working. I wasn't Happy anymore. Just numb. Or Hypersensitive; hence my name. I wasn't Happy though. I couldn't stand up for myself, make decisions, express my feelings, I was just in a state of floating nothingness. Not to mention being constantly pissed off at my boyfriend. Constantly. I accidently missed a therapy appt. and my Doc wouldn't scribe me anymore Lamictal last week until I saw my therapist. So, I stoped taking the whole darn mess. The Lithium, the prozac and the Lamictal. I have never felt better in my whole life. Everything is so clear. Everything is so easy. Everything is normal. How long will this last? That is the problem with Bi-Polar. Maybe I'm just in a manic swing. They used to be fun, but my last one led to delusions and hallucinations and hospitalization. It's a very tricky road I'm walking here and quite frankly, I'm scared crapless. I want to feel this wonderful power of being normal, but I am so afraid I'll spin out of control.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...********************
Thanks everyone for all your help. I don't mean to sound like a stubborn mule, but I'm OK. I'm just as wacked out on my meds, so what's the difference? Sure, I've been a bit snappy and not so happy, but on my meds, that's how I feel almost all the time.
I really don't think it's crisis time here. I feel a rebound coming on. Maybe I was just tired. Maybe today will be a better day.