HI, I'm Judy. I was saddened by your post. I am also very glad that you made it to this board to post. If you have made this step, you still want help and you need support, friendship and acceptance.
You will find all those things here in our bipolar group. I welcome you with
open arms, as I am sure others will.
I have had depression for over 25 years, but was not diagoised with the bp2 until about
10 years ago. I understand the suffering, the stigma, the desperation, and the times when you dont think you can make it another day.
As I read your post, I felt your anger, and I felt a bit angry myself. The thing that angers me is that you went for help and because of that, your life changed in such a negative way that you are now having a more diffiuclt time that ever,, or so it seems. I am wondering what kind of doctors and therapists you have had over the pasat 4 years. By now it seems that you would have found some stability with medication counseling, and work on your part to make changes in your life to help yourself. Also, a good support system. Do you have that? If not, please find one in your area. There are bipolar groups in most ciites. There is also a group called NAMI, a national orgainization for those of us will mental/psychiatic symptoms. They offer support for us, as well as any family members.
What are you doing with your life now? Do you work? Do you have family? Are you on medicaton?
I hope I'm not asking too many personal questions. I'de just like to try to get to know you.
This illness can be a real challenge to live with. At times there doesn't seem to be any hope. Those are the times that you lean on us here at Healing Well. We will help you through those times, and you will find that many of us have been right where you are. We are here, and we understand!!
I hope you will write again. I check this board often, and will write back to you.
Praying for you the AM,
"Hope is seldom found in the things we can see;it is the sweet fragrance of grace."