I've read your whole post and did not find it boring at all. You have certainly found the right place to get some healing, comfort and perspective from people who "been there, done that!"
I agree with everything that Counterclockwise has said to you. I'm glad you're finally attacking this issue head on. There is help for you out there. I am positive that most of us here have felt exactly how you feel now. But believe me it does get better.
It takes awhile for the doc to find the right balance of meds for us and that is why it is so important that you keep them up to date on how you're REALLY feeling in between appointments.
I have been going to therapy sessions for 3-4 years now. This is the one person that I can really pour my heart out to and she will always have something to say that will help and guide me along the way of getting back to the REAL me. I strongly suggest you try to find a therapist that you can feel so comfortable with. It does truly help - at least for me it does.
I felt so lost at times I didn't even remember who the real me was like. I actually had to have people tell me how I use to be in my Real life back before I was diagnosed. It took me a while getting back to my Normal self but it does happen.
Just continue to be proactive in your treatment of Bipolar and there will be many ups and downs but remember you can always find support here from people who really understand.
All the best to you.