you have to tell the drs about the depression before it starts controlling you life as it has done in the past. you've been here before and come through the other side. i know you can do it again.
i also know what it's like to just want to give uop the struggle and have some peace. tried it. it didn't work. sorry. no t-shirt.
there are so many drugs available to yoy, gaz, that i just know they will find the right mix for you.
you are precious. you are an inspiration to many here. you are more powerful than this disease. you have infinite power to draw on in your diety. draw on it - rely on it. in my experience it will always be there for you.