Wow, I've had an odd couple of weeks.
The weekend with Rob away wasn't too bad. I had contact with him and the community mental health team. I got rather manic saturday and ended up taking a seroquel and slept all saturday evening and most of sunday anyway!
This week I've been depressed, but not constantly suicidal, but I've been having dips where I just fall apart completely, until yesterday, and yesterday and today I've been violent, angry, wanting to cut, getting urges and compulsions to cut and break things and hurt people. I had to take seroquel last night, and might again tonight.
I just saw my pdoc and I went in there wanting an increase in my epilim more than anything, to control the mania, and if that would help the depression, fine, but if not, then more lofepramine as well.
I didn't even have to ask.
I told him how I'd been.
He doubled the dosage of both.
I am so relieved!
He said they're obviously not working enough at that dosage.
That's exactly what I was thinking.
So, I now have a HUGE box of epilim cos they're so large; I'm not seeing him til Jan 18th, so they're to carry me through til then. And I have 2 boxes of lofepramine.
Hopefully this will be the right dosage! Or at least help more.
Rosie, sorry I didn't get in touch last weekend; as I said, I slept through most of it in the end cos of the seroquel. Stupid meds! But it keeps the mania away!
LadyDragonfly... I know, my whole body is a disaster.
And I've only listed the major things in my sig.
I did have doctors that put everything down to being in my head, but now I'm at the new health centre at uni, they're being really, really good. The doctor I see regularly is determined to get everything sorted out and make consultants sort things out and not just look at the words 'depression and fibromyalgia' and assume I'm making it all up.
And I finally have a psychiatrist and I'm getting treatment for the BP.
It's such an amazing difference!
I used to dread going to the doctors and I'd get worked up about it, now I rather enjoy my weekly meeting with my GP and we chat and she's so nice and friendly and she refuses to let me let things slide. She's really making sure things are getting sorted out.
This bad bout of depression was actually after a terrible bout of UC. I was in hospital overnight; they thought I had a kidney stone. Turns out it was probably the UC playing up. I was on morpheine I was in that much pain. My physical symptoms finally calmed down sunday night/monday morning. The monday morning I woke up and I was just lower than I'd been for a LONG time. I thought it was completely out of the blue.
I never thought it could be cos of the UC... I mean I know I get fed up of being ill... but I was just so depressed about being depressed, I was fed up of the constant mood fluctuations because it isn't controlled yet. I'd been angry at my boyfriend sunday lunch time over absolutely nothing, I'd felt horribly ill all sunday (horrible UC thing: I'd been to the toilet more times in one day than most people do in TWO WEEKS!!!).
But I just didn't connect the depression to that... It could be that I got really bad and so it kicked off my depression. I'll have to take more note of my depression cycles and my physical illness in the future.
Hopefully I'll have my colonoscopy soon and they can get to treating the UC so I can get away from having problems with it!
Wow this was a long post!
Thoracic Outlet Syndrome from birth - Diagnosed 1999
Fibromyalgia from birth - Diagnosed 2005
(?) Ulcerative Colitis - waiting for tests
Epilim Chrono 500mg at night (Sodium Valproate)
Lofepramine (Feprapax or Gamanil) 70mg at night.
Quetiapine (Seroquel) when needed.