I am desperate for advice

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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 11/23/2006 9:29 PM (GMT -7)   
         My 33 year old brother has recently been going through a manic episode for a couple of months.  I also have a feeling he is doing drugs on top of it.  When he is manic, he becomes extremely agressive verbally.  He attacks me with the most painful insults *ie. I hope you kill yourself and die." My brother and I had the best relationship before this.  He doesn't think anything is wrong with him.  I have tried to convince him to go to a pyschiatrist but he will not hear it at all.
         He lost his job and his wife now left.  I am extremely worried that he will hurt himself or someone else.  I called hospitals and they said to call 911.  I am worried that if they come to take him away, he will refuse and they won't take him.  Then he may come after me in a rage and hurt me.  I am so confused about how to help him.  Has anyone had any similar experiences or any advice?
                                Thanks in Advance,

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 11/24/2006 5:47 AM (GMT -7)   
welcome to healing well and to the bo thread.  glad to have you here.
you certainly are in a tough position - that's for positive!  your brother may well be taking illicit drugs - it's a form of self medication.  i did it during a very bad manic episode in 1970.  your brother probably knows that something isn;t right but can't determine what it is.
there was a thread on here a several weeks with someone in a very similar position as yours.  her sister waas out of control and was looking as though she might hurt herself and others.  i learned on  this thread that there is legislation both in england and in the states which allows you to place your brother in the hospital for 72 hours.  in that time hey may be able to stabelize him.  i'm writing brcause i can;t think iof the name of the us legislation. sad   at my age the memory fades.  i'm sure that someone else will cime on your thread and provide the name of the legislation.  or you could search the archives of threads and find the thread i'm referring to,
sorry that i couldn't be of more definite help but hope that this helps a bit.

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 11/24/2006 8:44 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kira

You are certainly in a tough spot. Your brother is in self-destruct mode, many of us have been in it. Your brother has one thing going for him, and that is you. You love your brother very much. He doesn't realize that right now, but he will. That day may be tomorrow, or years away. He may not even admit it to you, but he will know it.

You must keep trying to help your brother, but not to the point you are in danger. If you ever feel threatened and believe your brother will physically harm you, get out of there immediately. You cannot be of much help to him if you are injured.

If he does become a danger to himself or you, or anyone else, call 911 and the police will take him in. If you report his behavior, the police may take him to the hospital. He may be incarcerated long enough to be noticed that he needs help. The police are actually quite capable of recognizing people that are in need of medical help.

Good luck and keep us informed.

I want "I wish I had one more day to spend at the office" on my tombstone.

I used to be crazy, but now I have enough money to be called eccentric.

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 215
   Posted 11/27/2006 12:21 PM (GMT -7)   
What I am going to say may seem cruel. Your brother may have to hit a real rock bottom before he can get help of his own volition. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. You can't make your brother get treatment and stick with it until he is ready.

He is in a bad way and I personally hate to think things could get worse, but they can. Hopefully, he will just mess up his life a little more, get help and figure out how to dig his way out of the hole he has created. This is the best case scenario, but my goodness is it ever hard to watch and wait! Stick as close as you can and be there when things make a turn for the better. Try not to harp on him about this because you'll alienate him just when you need to be there for him and he just when he needs you most. See if you can kind of keep track of him and what he does. If you are scared for his physical safety, call 911 and don't give them your name, you don't have to. You don't want him knowing you called because he'll likely be angry.

You are in for a rough ride here. You care and your brother is lucky to have you. Come here, you aren't alone and I would not want you to feel that you are.
The Lady Dragonfly
Yes, it was me...I know because I was there when I did it. Lupus sufferer, bipolar II sufferer. Currently on Indocin for chronic pericarditis related to lupus, and cherishing every deep breath without pain. Currently in graduate school for mental health counseling, class of Fall 2007. Vegan and loving it!

Amazon Rose
Regular Member

Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 56
   Posted 12/3/2006 6:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Kira

I cannot really offer any advice other than what others have already said, but I wanted to say that I do know how hard it is to watch a much loved family member seemingly in "self-destruct" mode and feel unable to stop him.

re the drug use... I do think a lot of people who use drugs in our society are taking them as a way of trying to treat uncomfortable emotional feelings such as anxiety, depression or whatever. Unfortunately it can put them into criminal activities and bring them to the attention of the police, which makes everything worse.

I hope your brother will be OK, and hope that you have support too.
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