I need some help...I wrote in this week about how stressed out I am over my job. Turns out, I am going to be losing my job in a month, long story. Anyway, that news was extremely devastating to me, as I am sure you call all imagine. I know all of you undestand how vital it is for us to keep our stress as low as possible and when things like this happen, it is a huge risk factor for our symptoms to become much worse.
My boyfriend (who I adore and live with) doesn't seem to understand that, fully. He knows this fact, about the stress, but I don't think he understands it to the extent I need him to. I need him to comfort me through this, but that's not what's happening. Last night we got into a huge fight which left me feeling even worse about myself than I already do, feeling guilty and extremely down on myself. And that is what I need some help with.
Right now I do go to a BP support group once a week in my area. I am tyring to work on some exercises to change "thought distortions", specifically on the negative thoughts I am having about myself. Over the last few years I have had the worst luck w/jobs. And now losing this one, I am more down on myself than ever. I keep thinking over and over how I'm not good enough for any of these huge companies I've been working for and with the fight I had with my bf last night, my thoughts have gotten really bad about myself, as a girlfriend.
We were supposed to go to an xmas party last night at his friends house, but I ended up breaking down about the stress I'm under right before we were ready to leave. I expressed to him (thru tears) that I was under extreme stress and that I needed him and he got angry/frustrated...then I said I couldn't go to the party b/c I was upset, and he told me that I "always do this" (always bail on our plans). That statement is something that I cannot get out of my head. I feel like he was looking down on me. And I now feel horrible about myself. We did make up, but I'm not feeling good about it today. I try really hard at going out w/him and I try really hard here at my job. But no matter what, I feel like I have all the guilt and shame in the world on my shoulders, and along with all of the stress, I am barely able to go on.
I am supposed to be focusing on this support group and all the coping skills to get better, but with all of this it's so hard. But I've made the decision that today I am going to try and work on my group exercises and concentrate on me. I just need some help in turing these negative thoughts about myself around...Thanks for reading, sorry it was so long, and thanks to anyone who replies.