You are female, you have been diagnosed with bipolar. Do you do about anything to feel like you are a "good" and worthwhile person? Does this include giving your friend money?
Let me tell you a secret. You ARE a good person, just like you are. You don't have to do a thing to prove it!!
I'd ask her for the money back, it was a loan. I'd not lend her any more money, it doesn't appear it was need, but rather want. I am a little worried that she knows your vulnerable spots and is pushing your buttons to her advantage.
I make a point not to lend money if I can't afford for it not to be repaid. If I can afford to go without it, and it is need...I give it. Otherwise, you work for your money and you deserve all of its benefits.
The Lady Dragonfly
Yes, it was me...I know because I was there when I did it. Lupus sufferer, bipolar II sufferer. Currently on Indocin for chronic pericarditis related to lupus, and cherishing every deep breath without pain. Currently in graduate school for mental health counseling, class of Fall 2007. Vegan and loving it!