I hope I don't sound unsympathetic, but that is not the case, quite the opposite.
I am not sure that your idea of family togetherness really fits your husband and daughter. They obviously have other ideas about what suits them. You may be a little off base here, and it doesn't matter if you are...they are still inconsiderate.
You said you feel anxious and inferior when you go out and be with people? I'll bet you feel like you are being a terrible fake in about every social situation you are ever in. Little secret, even those of us with your stuff pretty well together feel like great big, inferior and worthless fakes, at times. You are not alone in this. If you are letting others make you feel that way, just remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your permission. You don't have to give them permission anymore.
Now I know, I am a counseling student and naturally, I think everyone needs therapy so that I'll have a job when I am finished with my schooling. BUT I have had a lot of therapy. I found someone who was so available, so real with me, it helped. She was constantly emotionally available literally 24/7, by phone. If I was scared, she was there. If I was anxious, she was there. If I doubted myself, she was there. If I needed someone to talk to, she was there. Mostly importantly, I needed someone I could really and truly trust, and she was there. She was there for me until I could be there for myself. I owe her my life. People could be rude, inconsiderate and down right mean, but she never was, and she was THERE for me. I don't face my middle-age years feeling substandard, but rather as a worthwhile human being, with a measure of confidence and a healthy helping of self-awareness and self-respect...and plenty of self-love.
I would want these things for you and I hope you find someone you can talk to help you through the rough spots.
The Lady Dragonfly
Yes, it was me...I know because I was there when I did it. Lupus sufferer, bipolar II sufferer. Currently on Indocin for chronic pericarditis related to lupus, and cherishing every deep breath without pain. Currently in graduate school for mental health counseling, class of Fall 2007. Vegan and loving it!