I don't know who thinks that love and sex HAVE to go together. It is my experience that they most frequently DO NOT. It is not something to beat yourself up about. If you think of it this way, love is a higher order emotion. Sex is not an emotion, it is a baser animal instinct related to procreation of the species. Heck, in the time of the Puritans in this country, marriage was a LEGAL contract not a religious one. Now it is one and the same, but is this right? I don't think so.
As to **********, there is NOTHING inherently wrong with it! You won't go blind, you won't go to Hades, the world will not end and you will not be punished for it. The only problem with it is if you do that and can't actually have sexual relations with another person or if you do it the exclusion of everything else as in rather than going to work or school, eating, sleeping or living your life. Males are highly visually stimulated and looking at something stimulating is not wrong either, unless it is looking at children, which is its own pathology. If you are watching adult women, there is nothing wrong with that.
It is reasonable to think that in the mania state, people who are bipolar would be more interested in plenty of casual sex with whomever, even lots of whomevers. Mania is an excess of everything life has to offer, including sex.
Being in a relationship is tricky for everyone who attempts it. Marriage is a crap shoot in the very best of situations. I think that being bipolar and trying to be in a relationship is a bit trickier still. I think that bipolar people are much more sensitive in general and sensitive to nuances of behavior in others because they have to be aware of subtle changes in themselves. Being bipolar means you get judgment, and plenty of it, from everyone who knows the score. If others don't feel sorry for you, then they are being totally controlling and telling you to "snap out of it" as if it were that all fired easy. Others will label you as a "mental case" which is not fair, let alone that it is completely inaccurate. It isn't easy being bipolar, not out there in the big world.
What I would tell you is probably something Warren would tell you. If you want a relationship, as opposed to just sex, you need to work on you, first and foremost. Go see a therapist and sort out your feelings. Find your sense of purpose. FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE, find your identity. Be comfortable in your skin which means accepting the bipolar diagnosis and figuring out coping strategies. That way, you are as whole a person as you can be when you go look for love, and I mean love. Love and sex CAN go together and it is magic when it does.
Stop trying to judge yourself harshly, it doesn't pay. Guilt is what you make it because literally, guilt is a do-it-yourself project. Go hammer some nails instead if you are into DIY.
The Lady Dragonfly
Yes, it was me...I know because I was there when I did it. Lupus sufferer, bipolar II sufferer. Currently on Indocin for chronic pericarditis related to lupus, and cherishing every deep breath without pain. Currently in graduate school for mental health counseling, class of Fall 2007. Vegan and loving it!