If this is an inappropriate question I apologize. I am just trying to sort this whole "thing" out. Quick history before the questions. I started smoking marijuana by the time I was 11. I never have stopped. I binge drink on very seldom occasions, and have been sober from other street drugs(narcotic/others) for several years. In rehab for Heroin addiction, the counselors encouraged us to smoke, for many reasons. I used it to detox off of methadone, valum, and paxil. My pdoc said that I definately needed to cut down, then he said he was giving me 3 months to get ahold on it and pretty much quit or he wants me in treatment. My question is...does anyone think it increases paranoia, or mood swings? Intensify them maybe? I think I am paranoid about
being paranoid. Any body know anything about
links between marijuana and bipolar? Prolonged useage, and symptoms of bipolar? I just took a psychological exam, and the results were, well...hard to hear. I, according to this test, have schizophrenic tendencies(minor schizophrenia, as my shrink put it), bpII, and borderline personality disorder, not to mention, major depression. My shrink said people with this type of scores are usually institutionalized, and only when I was driving home did I get what he was trying to say to me. I just assumed he ment anyone and everyone else but me. I that I know of have never hallucinated. But now, I started to notice my paranoia, and other strange behaviour
that makes me really wonder if my brain is damaged from years of smoking or mental illness, or what? Oh, I feel like I am going to explode with questions, about
all kinds of stuff. Like you all have the answers to my madness. Many would say, who cares what it is from, or why you are mad...all that matters is that you are getting the help you need. My rational brain know that those people are right, but I would not be here if I were rational all of the time. I trick myself, confuse myself, and analyze myself daily. somedays just choosing a parking stall is ridiculously difficult, as I almost pull into 2 or more beofre finally settling on one. My poor husband is just as confused as he says, "it's like your not even paying attention to parking...sigh.", poor guy, he puts up with alot. Somedays I just sit thinking all day, as much as allowed, my kids playing around me, not even hearing them. Just lost in Shade's world. I try to give myself a break, a remember that I am going through alot, and I do have incredible pressure/stress upon me. As we all do. The neg. self talk is soooo loud all the time, and combating your loudest strongest voice with your weakest littlest one is an uphill battle for sure. I am just trying to figure this all out, I keep having doubts about
my diagnosis(s). Is that laughable? Any input is helpful. Thanks.