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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 1/7/2007 6:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey all,

Happy New Year to you all.

Once again I can't sleep. It is 1.40am here and I start back at college at 9am. There is no way I am gonna get to sleep before 9am.

Anyway, thought I would have a rant. Still no diagnosis for me. I return to the GP on the 15th and she says she will consider the referral then. So I have been taking the Fluoxetine since the start of December and I still have my good days, my really good days, my normal days, my bad days and my really bad days. I haven't had a good night's sleep for weeks/months - I dunno time seems to fly just now when I am like this then it goes sooooo slow I feel like I have been put on slow mo.

My little girl would have been 11 last Monday so the last week has been kind of hard. Everybody has been avoiding me which I just don't thinks help much. I hate this time of year. Maybe I won't see next year's. Everything is a mess and I just don't think I can cope anymore and to be honest I don't care.

Well, gonna go for a walk I think to see if it helps make me sleep.

What can I say,
something 'bout my life,
I just lost again.

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 1/7/2007 10:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey there David

I haven't posted here in a while, so introductions are in order. Welcome.

I can't sleep either. My diagnosis was bp2 with rapid cycles. I have been floating on the hypomania side since probably last August. Been to the inn a few times for a tune-up, helped some.

I guess all I can tell you is my own thoughts right now is sleep isn't all its carcked up to be. I can get by for days without it. Not pleasant, but thats the way it is.

I guess maybe its time for an uplift. Why are you in college unless you are trying to improve your life, thats a plus. And, the people that avoided you during you grieving time, that may have been the best thing although painful. Personally, it really bothers me if someone tries to be nice and says, "I know how you feel." No they don't. No one could possibly know how someone feels. Each instance is different.

All I can say is I feel sad for your pain. Also, apathy is not necessarly a bad thing. It can help you regain the important and throw out the garbage. Coping, I always felt when I was trying to cope I was trying to fit into a persona of what was expected of me. Created diffculties.

I hope I don't offend any GP's here, but I have not gained a great deal of resect for them. David, if you want to get to a pro that can really help you, go to the ER. There is no shame in it.

Best of luck to you and keep us updated.

I want "I wish I had one more day to spend at the office" on my tombstone.

I used to be crazy, but now I have enough money to be called eccentric.

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 215
   Posted 1/8/2007 11:26 AM (GMT -7)   
I'll echo Cap, although I know that sleep is all it is cracked up to be! With an autoimmune like I have, sufferers sleep a lot and almost nothing works better than a nap.

I think you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other. If your mind and body were in a place where you'd sleep, you'd be sleeping. It isn't. You won't go the rest of life without it, but it may be a while in coming. I get up to work between 2 and 3 a.m. I feel this constant clock pressure. Maybe it is 9 p.m., only 5 maybe 6 hours I have to work...sleep or stay up? I do this all day long!!! It is enough to drive me batty. I find it helps to stop worrying and do what I can do when I feel like doing it. I am redoing our in a complete overhaul. I have accomplished so little since October 1, I feel like I am drowning in it. I decided last Monday that everyday that I can devote to doing something productive, I will. On days when I don't have the energy to roll the paint roller, I'll work or take a nap. If I am on my feet painting all day (3 days in the last week) I know I have to take something for the pain so it doesn't keep me awake, but I digress. Look at what needs doing, set a goal and see what progress you can make. Unless you really think you are going to sleep, don't try bed. NOthing is more frustrating than lying in bed, awake, tossing and turning, feeling the clock ticking and worrying about what all you have to do tomorrow. If it is now you have energy, then look at your list of to-dos and do something, don't worry about it. Eventually, you will sleep and it will be long and hard. Right now it isn't happening, but getting things done IS happening.

Personally, since I work so early, I think the rest of the world with their schedules and time frames and this idea that it is 8 hours of sleep or die...I think they are NUTZ.
The Lady Dragonfly
Yes, it was me...I know because I was there when I did it. Lupus sufferer, bipolar II sufferer. Currently on Indocin for chronic pericarditis related to lupus, and cherishing every deep breath without pain. Currently in graduate school for mental health counseling, class of Fall 2007. Vegan and loving it!

New Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 1/19/2007 9:59 AM (GMT -7)   

Thanks for your replies. Sorry I haven't responded sooner. I was in my car and decided to plough into the back of a van, or at least the other driver decided that for me. My car was totalled but their van had hardly a scratch. Then the fire service had to cut the rest of my car open to get me out.

I got a visit from the GP and she says she doesn't think I have Bi Polar as over the last four weeks since I seen her my moods have been constantly changing throughtout the day. One minute I am fine, then about an hour or so later I can be depressed, then later on I can be extremely happy and flying. So I dunno. Don't think I will get a referral and she has increased my Fluoxetine to two pills a day to see if this helps.

Anyway, thought I would let you guys know.

What can I say,
something 'bout my life,
I just lost again.

New Member

Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 1/19/2007 1:08 PM (GMT -7)   

ScottishDragon, is it possible for you to see a psychiatrist for a proper diagnosis?  It seems to me that if your moods are constantly changing, then the Fluoxetine your GP has prescribed could make them worse. 

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