thanks everyone for all your responses. I am sorry for venting as a I did, I go through moments like that several times a year. I guess, it has been a while since the last time I freaked out. It's weird, every time seems completely different from the previous.
I guess for a short while, I was confused about where my life was heading. I panicked about it, and fealt like it wasn't going anywhere. Plus, I just recently lost my car (in a wreck), lost both my therapist and psychiatrist, had to move back home after 5 years of being away (i'm 27), can't work or finish school (only 6 classes left) . It all happened so fast, and pretty much within 2 weeks of each other, that something had to give.
I am okay now, I have made a few changes to adjust to the new life, and I feel better already. I have not had a chance to look for a new therapist or pdoc because I have not made the time or effort, but I think there is no time life the present.
Plus, I discovered recently that I have control issues, if things don't work out I get very angry . I am learning that I can only control a small % of what happens in my life. I can try/and control what I say or do, and that is it. Anything that is outside of me, is outside of my control. It was and still is a little hard to accept, but that's the way life goes.
I am suppost to meet with my former therapist to try to find a new one tomorrow, I'll let you know how it goes.
"Don't let your yesterday ruin your today."