SHE HAS TO GET TO A PSYCHIATRIST. For a GP to treat bipolar is unethical, they are out of their depth. Bipolar II diagnosis comes with a host of drugs of its own. Typical SSRIs like the ones she had tried are CONTRAINDICATED and can be dangerous. You don't have to ask me how I know, I have lived it, but just barely lived through it.
There is a lot more than bipolar at work here. The correct medication(s) would not fix everything that is going on. The fact that you are #4 for her tells me a lot about her. Go and look up Borderline Personality Disorder on the web.
If you continue in this marriage, you will continue to go through what you are going through with her now. It is not going to get better or change, because it is clear that she does not wish for things to change or get better. You have to look hard at yourself and ask why on earth you need this in your life. The way she is treating you, the things she is tellingyou, they are abusive. She is abusing you.
I have a friend who is also holding onto a "relationship" where her partner is like yours...abusive, blaming, shaming, finger pointing, etc. She tells me endlessly how much she loves him, and how much she knows he loves her. Where? How? Where is the evidence? WHAT makes her think that a constant borage of how worthless she is, how stupid she is, how greedy she is, how lazy she is, how she won't do what he tells her...where in that is there love? I'd ask you the same thing.
Love is gentle. Love is kind. Love is supportive. Love is not abusive. Love doesn't tell you, you are worthless. Love doesn't think you are stupid. Love is not an excuse to blame, shame or demean others.
Just what are you hanging onto? If you can't answer that, find a therapist for you and don't tell her you are seeing anyone because if you do, she'll make you suffer for it. You need some support for you.
The Lady Dragonfly
Yes, it was me...I know because I was there when I did it. Lupus sufferer, bipolar II sufferer. Currently on Indocin for chronic pericarditis related to lupus, and cherishing every deep breath without pain. Currently in graduate school for mental health counseling, class of Fall 2007. Vegan and loving it!