You have given me so many words of encouragement, especially in the last couple of weeks when I needed it the most. So I am going to try to do the same for you, at least a little bit. You've already received some great advice in other posts, so I'm not sure whatI can add, but I'll try.
You have had this longer than I have, but I would like to help a little if I can. I was diagnosed w/Bipolar in July, but I've known something was wrong for a long time, but didn't know what. I too see a therapist 1x/week and a pdoc every 1-2 months.
As you know, I've had some recent med issues/changes and it's maddening as h**l sometimes. But we know that geting on the right combo of meds can be difficult at times for some of us, but if we want to be stable we have to go through it. If you feel you don't have the right pdoc, look for another. Maybe your therapist could recommend ones that he/she may work with. Check them out, you may find one you like better.
I've wondered so many times whether or not I'll ever get my old life back, but I think I've come to the conclusion that my life won't be exactly as it used to be. Things have really changed for me, but I do believe that I can work very hard at getting back some of the way things were and realize that there will be some things I just won't ever get back. I will have to accept that, move on and create new things for myself.
Remember, we have to work super hard to get what we want, just like anyone else, but we may have to work a little harder because of our situations. There are times we just want to give up (I sure do know about this - ), but we can't, even when it's so very frustrating.
Yes, you will have set backs now and then, but you are a strong person; you will pull yourself out of that set back and be a little stronger for having to go through that. I haven't had this diagnosis very long and I have already had a couple of set backs, but I've gotten through them (although not very well at times); with the help of your kind words, as well as from others here at HW. Then you move on with your life and be proud of yourself that you could do it. Try to be realistic with yourself and know that you are strong, creative, smart and will be able to do anything you set your mind to.
Here's an idea, maybe you can make a small list of short-term goals for yourself, once you reach those, be proud of yourself and do something to treat yourself for acheiving them. Then do it again come up with another list, maybe a little longer than the last one, once you achieve those, be proud and buy yourself something special. Eventually, you will be able to make a list of longer-term goals. You know that you will be able to meet these goals over time and you will be very proud of yourself for achieving them. When you do, give yourself an even better something special (maybe go to a salon for a day and be pampered). BTW - these are all just suggestions of course, just trying to help you. I'm actually also going to try the whole goal thing for myself.
As others have told you, love yourself and keep trying - you deserve to have a great life! You will get it, with some hard work. Remember - baby steps (as I have been told so many, many times - LOL). Feel free to email me any time - my address is in my profile. I'm also on Yahoo IM. Let us know how you are doing - we love and care about you.
I hope some of this helps. Lots of BIG ((((Hugs)))) for you.
Agoraphobia, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Panic/Anxiety Disorders, Restless Leg Syndrome, Severe Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea, and Social Anxiety
Meds: Ambien CR, Ativan, Flexeril, Lamictal, Lexapro, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin ER
A slip of the foot you may soon recover,
but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.