Help My Mother is Mean Mommy Dearest

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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 3/12/2007 10:43 AM (GMT -7)   
:-)  Hi everyone I thought someone here would understand...Well I am 25 tongue   and I still live with my parents and my 2 kids nono ...Ok here is my problem I really think my Mom is bipolar,and this will be a long post redface .....
Ok my childhood was good mom protected me the best she could,she would however call me fat,or ugly and Yell alot when mad if I was acting like a hyper little kid just.
My teen years wow well I never went to school and that was ok with her so I got my GED mad eyes ...Most kids my age were driving I was not allowed to go to drivers ed until I was 18,then they bought me a car at 19 that I was supposed to payback,I tryed to pay her back but when I would she would tell me to keep my money,but when mad I was a loser,that got what I wanted,and they bought me a car I was to lazy to pay back..I tryed to work and some days she would take my keys so I coulnt go,I live in the country so there was no way to get there work,then mad she would tell me how I was the only kid in the family that didnt work and how embaressing..Well she was the one that if I did get a job tell me oh its to far or you could get better so I have only worked once ever and I am 25 nono To this day I feel like I cant work,since I dont know how to...Oh and the car I was not alowed to have friends in it ok I was 19 and I could only go with her in it,I eventully abanded the car and it got mice in it but that I will talk about latter.
Well it got to the point with being call stupid,lazy,ugly,fat that I became anorexic,I would sleep around,and not come home for days on end just to get away from her and hope one of these guys would marry me so I could get away eyes ....With my first kid she just took over yes he feels like my brother not my own,she would tell me to go out and I would and then mad I was the worlds worst mother I abanded him blah blah blah....Oh guys if I would date one it was when is he going to marry you,you cant keep a guy you are to neddy,no guy will ever want you you cant keep them around,and this is if we were only going out for a week at that point.Well I finally met someone and he asked me to marry him,after 3 weeks I knew I didnt want to but I did just to get away from her and show her someone would marry me,and he was a abusive jerk,well it only lasted for a few weeks.And I can tell you when shes mad she uses it against me.After divorcing him I kinda became alohoholic and didnt go back home,I eventully did for a few days and left again beacuse I coulnt handel it,she was way to mean...I did end up meeting someone that I do love and we were togeter for almost a year but I had my own bottled up anger and I was a drunk so he left and I went back home pregnant......Well I was told and to this very day 3-12-07 how stupid I am for getting preg with guys who dont want me,what a ***** for a daughter she has,how I can go work,how I dont help her out,oh I am always lazy and the best I get called stupid 24/7.... Well berore I came back home I was told I had to sell my car,just beacuse of the mice..I have tryed to find another car but she will say sorry I cant take you to see it and then its sold,I can only buy a honda,beacuse I am stupid if I get anything else...She tells me my kids fathers cant be in there lives,and how its unfair if I make them pay child support and I should get a job and do it on my own like normal women,work full time pay for daycare,make a car payment and have my own place on minimun wage I dont think so....Oh and the day care thing its funny beacuse she dosent work she could help,oh and my breastfeeding my little one is a excuse to be lazy.....
Oh I try and help her out at home,and I am not alowed to wash the dishes,or do the laundry,or take baths daily beacuse we live on a septic and it could go out..I will however sweep,and clean her kitchen,and my bathroom.......But I am told by her daily how I dont help her out,and how lazy I am..
If I have someone come over hardly ever she talks so fast and acts weird.She wont leave us alone...
If I go out with her my 3 year old is hyper and she thinks a 3 year old should be just quite and still shes like your kids a *** hes so embarassing what must people think....We are ruining her life and how shes a older woman that should have her immediate family out of the house,how the family thinks I am, a loser how she wishes I was diffrent,I cry daily over it....
I have hit my mom beacuse of the painful things she says to me talking to her is like a brick wall shes heartless,I cant tell you how you all how her emotianally abusing me hurts,I ask her to talk and she says we always talk about your feelings...
Right now the pain of it hurts so bad and stuff,shes says me and my family messed up her house and her life how she wishes I wouldnt wake up,and she hates me,and hates who I have become...I know blaming people for stuff is not healthy but she trapped me and its her fault I am where I am,oh and my dad well he justs deals with it shes weird to him to but he wont stick up for me beacuse he knows her beast will come out...Oh yes I cant forget I get called fat all the time to even when I was 80lbs I was called fat..
Me well I have been alchol free for a year,and I still have a hard time with people and relashionships,and I know its from how I was raised,and treated.I do try working it daily but dealing with her is like dealing with a person with a stone soul..
My mom I know was sexually abused as a child by a teacher and by a friends dad and I truly think that guy raped her beacuse she wont say,she has ocd,shes the type that thinks theres something left in her mailing envelpes before she sends them off,she went through a time when I was little where she woulnt leave the house anxiety issues....I have told her I think she needs help but she just says its me that does,and my father well he just enables it....Thank You for reading,and sorry it was long and so not put togther.....Do you think my moms bipolar?

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 215
   Posted 3/12/2007 2:08 PM (GMT -7)   
You are not dealing with bipolar disorder, at least I don't think so. Go and google for Borderline Personality Disorder and look around. You are describing walking on egg shells with her, you can do no right, but at other times is quite the opposite and perhaps even needy. Your dad is so used to her poor behavior that he has given up and he puts you in the middle because it is easier for you to be there than to put himself there.

Most of all, you need to find a way to leave the home and put you and yours kids in a better place. There ARE programs and help for women who find themselves alone raising kids and you will have to be persistent in finding them and not taking no for answer. Even if she is nice to your kids, you are tacitly teaching them that it is okay for people to be abusive to mommy and in time, they will be the abusers of you if you don't get them out and parent better than your mother did.

Lastly, this is NOT about how others see you, it is about how YOU see YOU. If you have to listen to this any longer (if it has not happened already) you are going to be an overweight loser. On the other hand, you can't live your life worrying about your weight and everything you do because again, you have to love and appreciate yourself AS YOU ARE. GET OUT OF THERE!!! SHe is hurting you far more than you think.
The Lady Dragonfly
Yes, it was me...I know because I was there when I did it. Lupus sufferer, bipolar II sufferer. Currently on Indocin for chronic pericarditis related to lupus, and cherishing every deep breath without pain. Currently in graduate school for mental health counseling, class of Fall 2007. Vegan and loving it!

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 152
   Posted 3/16/2007 4:15 PM (GMT -7)   
I don't know how this relates to bipolar disorder at all. I think you need to just get out on your own away from your mom. I agree with LadyDragonfly- it definitely sounds like Borderline. I don't want to say that borderlines are terrible people, but well... My fiance's father is Borderline and we're just absolutely tired of him. She wishes she could take a big eraser over him. I wish I could do something else to him ;)

We're just waiting for him to ruin our wedding. He is giving us a huge amount of money (that he doesn't have) which is probably going to become an attempt to keep us near him or some other "I did this now you do this for me, you don't love me if you don't" guilt trip. Can't wait till we're both graduated and can move anywhere that's a 14 hour plus drive. I've voting on St. Louis

Only two things can get you out of a Borderline's grip: death or lots of miles.
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