I guess I have mixed feelings about
this. Especially since I have been doing so well without meds, my moods are actually pretty leveled compared to how they used to be. I am doing good, and working really hard to find balance in things, and have been handling things better then I used to. Plus my attitude in life has changed since my last episode. I have even beer trying to work on the things that I thought would kill me in the past to deal with. I am almost back to normal, okay but this is probably the closest I will ever get.
I guess I am very scared to get back on meds because in the past things were out of control, with or without them. At times, things were worse on them, but I know if it isn't now it would be soon that I will have to get back on them. Plus, I am horrified of gaining all the weight back I just lost (20lbs in the last 2 months). In the past being on Lithium made it next to impossible to lose weight, but it was very easy to gain I must say.
Plus the pdoc also put me on Buspar for anxiety and Trazodone for sleep, but I heard that they do not have too much side effects and that made me feel a little better.
I am not having any hypomacic/manic or depressive symptoms at the momment, but my anxiety has shot through the roof. I guess that is a sign of a little insability right there.
Plus at the present moment I do not have a pdoc (or therapist), I just saw someone the other day just as a one time things. I am just scared of getting on meds but having no one to go to if problems arise. It sucks not having insurance and that's were I am.
Thanks for letting me express my fears
"What is life? An illusion, a shadow, a story,
And the greatest good is little enough:
for all life is a dream, and dreams themselves are only dreams."
~ Pedro Calderon de la Barca, Life is a Dream
Post Edited (olivia of course) : 3/26/2007 9:09:46 AM (GMT-6)