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Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 6/20/2007 11:04 PM (GMT -7)   

My wife has this darned disease call major depression. She was on a very low step down dosage of Wellbutrin due to us trying to conceive… when out of no where she pops up with, “I’m filing for divorce”… Now this literally came a week after us trying to have another child… She refused to continue our marriage counseling seasons… she refused to go back to her PC doc… She refused anything that might help her get better… she literally could not bring herself to get off the couch for a month… Daily life was a major chore… HER ONLY OPTION WAS TO FILE AND MOVE BACK TO FLORIDIA!!

She has spent the last 4 years on the run… She always had good reasons why (or so I was told)… She never really told me the truth

Since we filed May 21st, I have not been able to speak to her… I made several attempts (two messages on her cell phone) prior to her moving on the 24th of May, but no luck… I called on of her friends to seek help, but that exchange resulted in the following email to me… My parents had each sent a text message to her that simply told her that they love her, will miss her and are always there for her… and this was the result

IS this type of reaction to be expected from someone that is struggling with such an illness and not properly treated?...

After reading so many postings, I can’t help but feel that if she would seek the appropriate help (therapy and meds) that things would even out for her… and still hopefully us!


Posted By : Red09 - Yesterday 8:54 PM
I rarely post on this site anymore but I had to reply to your post.
Your wife could either be bipolar or she has multiple personality disorder. OR (hate to say it) she's cheating on you. Her sudden behaviour, that 180 turn around is really weird seeing as you two were planning on creating a child.
The thing is, no matter what you do right now nothing will help. If you try to talk to her, contact her in ANY way, she will turn and go the other way. Let her go for now...Who knows, maybe some space apart will knock some sense into her, she'll get a taste of how life will be without you in it.
She has to WANT help, WANT to change and by her actions she's showing you she's not willing to do so.
Maybe she has to hit rock bottom before changing. One thing about depression, it brings the worst out in the sufferer, not only the guilt of being a burden, but losing faith and respect for yourself. A part of her is missing and because of that she is suffering badly. It HURTS watching the one you love change before your eyes and there isn't anything you can do to prevent it.
What you can do for yourself is consider seeking therapy for you, so you don't fall apart. That and keep busy. Focus on friends, family, hobbies, any distraction right now is a good thing. If you love her, stick by her, let her go, atleast for now. Have faith that in time she will figure it out and come back to you.
Hope this helps.
Posted By : ak_dreams - Yesterday 9:22 PM

Red, thank you for the post... I didn't mention in my thread that our therapist wanted "us" to take the MMPI 2 due to suspicions that she may be bipolar. He recommended the “we” in an effort not alienate her from therapy… he had mentioned to us the meds needed to be tweaked and though that a Pdoc was in order.

I am giving her the space to do what it is she needs to do… I, myself, am moving on with life… I just moved into my new house yesterday… I still see the therapist about every 10 days… but the fact still remains that I stood up in front of God, family and friends and took a vow that was very serious… I sickness and in healthIsn’t there someone that could email her and say, “Look I went through this as well and now my life is so much better”!... Her support channels now consist of drug dealers, burn outs, and untreated BPD’s… I’m never going to get through to her am I? Afterall, she does not want the help...
The fact still remains that I love her, she is my wife (for now) and I care deeply for her… I sound pretty co-dependent right now, but WOW… what a rollercoaster I’ve been on.


Posted By : Red09 - Yesterday 9:35 PM
You didn't choose this, neither did she. This is the disease that has taken over your wife. Right now she isn't the woman you married - SO DON'T BLAME YOURSELF AT ALL. Her poor judgement, frame of mind have led her down a path, a scary path...All you can do is hope her family and friends guide her, push her into getting help.
Another thing, that love you have, don't give up. Just because you two are not together right now doesn't mean forever. Have that faith. You're not co-dependant at all! This is someone you promised to love forever, as I said earlier, this wasn't your choice.
Good that you're going to therapy! And as for moving on with life, that's fine to keep busy, focus on you and fun things, but don't get involved with anyone (not saying you will) because that won't make the rollercoaster ride any easier.


Reason for edit:


I have taken the letters/emails out of the post for 2 reasons. One is that we have to be careful what we allow on the forum since there are people as young as 13 on here. The second is that there would be an ethical question over posting emails that people have sent to you as private. I see no reason why you cannot describe how she reacted when your parents sent the text message (Such as a brief synopsis) but not posting copies of private emails. I hope you understand why I have done this, and if you want to email me privately to discuss this I am more than happy. You can use the envelope icon on the left.   



Post Edited By Moderator (djdaz_1985) : 6/22/2007 2:45:17 AM (GMT-6)

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