This past weekend was a tough one for me and my bf...After being h-manic for almost two weeks, I crashed into a depression and was extremely emotional and anxious. We live together, and my symptoms really made things hard for us this weekend.
There is a little more to it than that...My past bf's were really bad guys, cheaters, liars, abuser (one was)...And my mental illness was something that was not tolerated in the past from them. They would find other girls, leave me, and pretty much make me feel like I was crazy and no good.
So mix all that together and I am really just scared to death of losing this wonderful guy I have now, and of course the symptoms of my bp are completely uncontrollable (as you all know). I cried all weekend, non-stop and now a few days later, aside from all my insecurities about myself and aside from my symptoms, I feel there was a part of me that was also acting immature. I think the insecurity is a little immature maybe.
I am really wanting to work on this so my bf and I can be happy together, because that's all he wants, is to make me happy. And he truly is the greatest, he does make me happy. I just want to not be so afraid. I'm fearful he would want someone else, (there is someone specific) or someone else he could meet one day out of the blue....and I need to stop that. My bf is trustworthy and loving.
I do know that insecurity comes from my anxiety (and my bp too) and my past, but I want to work on it. I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions, or if anyone has experienced this.
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
--currently not on meds for bp--