I have been taking Cymbalta and Lamictal for about a month. A couple of weeks into the lamictal I felt "even" for possibly the first time my entire life. I had been on antidepressants for 6 months or so, and they had not helped with the depths that I was reaching, but at least they had pulled me out for short spans during that 6 months. The "highs" that I had gotten were what a "normal" friend described to me as what "normal" should be. They would only last a day or three, then crash to 2-3 weeks of depressing lows, then slowly climb back up.
Since starting the Lamictal I have been ITCHY. I have found that it could be from the Lamictal, and not a sudden allergy to my cat.
Over the last 3-4 days I have seen an increase in the symptoms of a classic "manic" such as shaky hands, increased itching, unable to sleep, waking refreshed after only a few hours, unable to consentrate on one think, grandiose thoughts and feelings, self absorbed, twitchyness.
I have written more the past couple days than I have the last 9 months. The only problem is I have so many typos that I don't know if I will be able to read it later. I'm not sure if it will make sense.
I caught myself last night signing myself up for more than I knew I could handle, thinking that I would just push myself harder, it could be done.
I had to start making lists because more TO DO stuff goes into my mind than I have the ability to keep up with. My self-perfectionism has skyrocketed and I am self-talking myself to death.
I feel like my fingers can't keep up with my thoughts tonight. They are shaky and my husband kicked me out of bed for shaking my foot and jiggeling the bed too much. I couldn't stop. I feel like I want someone to hit me real hard and make me pass out. I want an off button.
I have had more productivness in the last couple of days than I have for almost a year. I would love to get this more often if I wasn't so sure a crash like nothing I have ever seen before will follow.
I'm sure this is a manic, but if I don't remember feeling quite like this before, is it because I wasn't paying as close attention, or is it that the medications are actually making it worse taking me out of the depression?
I've not seen the worst of the BP, I'm sure, but right now I will take the mania over the crushing depths I have been in over the last 9 months or so. ANYTHING to stay away from there.
What do you think? Do I just deal with it? Is this what it is? Will it get worse before it gets better? Are the out of control highs as bad as the black depths? Should I give up the 1st time ever "evenness" that doesn't seem so even to try another medication? Maybie one that doesn't ITCH.
I am afraid of gaining weight since I also have weight issues and eating issues that come up regularly. Lamictal is supposed to not effect weight. Others might make me gain.
Anyway, this is the first time that I have delt with these issues and I would like someone (perferably lots of someones) to give me advice.
When you cannot stand, on whom do you lean?